


what's it gonna be?

by astroblemish



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Complicated Relationships, M/M, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 09:26:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9715400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astroblemish/pseuds/astroblemish
Summary: The problem with actually convincing Chanyeol to ask Baekhyun out is that: a) Jongdae really doesn’t want to fucking do it, and b) Kyungsoo may or may not get in the way of that plan to begin with.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this ended up. so so so much longer than i meant for it to be. and also so dialogue heavy which is. weird. for me. ALSO ive never written more-than-three poly before so it's very experimental but, i enjoyed writing it so i hope y'all can enjoy reading it!  
> it may seem pretty... love triangle-y and shit here and there but the end game is definitely ot4 so. bear with me. and jongdae, for that matter,  
> this is silly and stupid and not that good but, enjoy!

* * *

 

“I have a problem.” Baekhyun starts, fiddling with the strap of his violin case as Jongdae presses pause on his ipod, popping the earbuds out.

“Alright.” He replies, tentatively, prompting Baekhyun to go on while gesturing to his bed in the corner of her room that he sinks into familiarly, setting the instrument on the ground by his feet. “What’s up?”

“Do you know Park Chanyeol?” Baekhyun says hesitantly, nibbling on his lip in the nasty habit of his that always ends up breaking the skin while forcing Jongdae to look at his pretty mouth. Jerk.

“As in the basketball player in percussion that you never shut up about?” Jongdae replies wryly, mouth twisting amusedly. “I might, why?”

“Remember how I said I hated him,” Baekhyun continues, leaning back on his hands as he stares at Jongdae’s ceiling, toeing with the strap of his violin case. Jongdae narrows his eyes cautiously, confused as to where this is going. “Well… now I just have a problem.”

“Oh my god,” Jongdae says, spinning his desk chair around fully to stare Baekhyun down, because in all his ten years of meeting, knowing, and loving Byun Baekhyun --albeit some more secretly-so than others-- transparency is one thing Jongdae will never not be able to see through. “You have a fucking crush.”

It would be a lot funnier if it didn’t feel like someone had ripped Jongdae’s heart straight out of his chest and stomped on it.

As it stands, Jongdae is a pretty good actor --at least, when it comes to Baekhyun-- so he does force himself to laugh, high-pitched and cackling as Baekhyun turns red and throws a pig-shaped pillow at Jongdae’s face.

“Shut up,” Baekhyun mumbles, hugging his knees against his chest. “It’s not a crush, I just think that he’s a very good looking tall glass of water that I would like to drink from continuously--”

“TMI, dude,” Jongdae says, blanching. Something in his gut still twists at the knowledge of Baekhyun having a crush, even though they’ve gone through the motions hundreds of times. A _sunbae_ in high school, Kim Taeyeon when they were first years, the little girl across the road from Baekhyun’s house in sixth grade. Baekhyun catches crushes like most people catch seasonal flu and they, just like the flu, always pass in time, leaving Baekhyun still single, mopey, and Jongdae, as hopelessly in love as ever, waiting for it to come back next season. “So what? You hating him was just your UST?”

Baekhyun sighs, flopping back onto the bed. “Something like that, yeah.” His pink hair fans out across Jongdae’s pink bedsheets, a stupid colour that Jongdae had advised him not to change it to but Baekhyun, naturally, had done it anyway. Then again, Baekhyun would probably look good in like, vomit-coloured hair --Jongdae just tells him not to do it to spare his own heart, at this stage. “God, I feel like I’m fucking twelve. I can’t believe I’m crushing on Chanyeol.”

“Do you want him to bang you the way he bangs his drums?” Jongdae jokes (even if it's at his own expense.)

It does not, however, gain the expected ew response. Instead, Baekhyun sighs wistfully.

“He can do whatever he wants to me.” Baekhyun croons, and Jongdae blinks because this is… different, somehow, to the usual crush. It doesn’t seem like flu so much as it seems like… a terminal illness, lingering and long-lasting --Baekhyun isn’t his general, in-denial self that he is in the early stages, he’s already moved onto the last stage of acceptance, which is… not good, for Jongdae, mostly.

“You’re disgusting,” Jongdae says, shaking his head, and feels his stomach knot up. He licks his too-dry lips, focusing on his _History of Russian Revolutions_ textbook rather than the way Baekhyun looks, sprawled out on Jongdae’s bed while he’s in love with Park fucking Chanyeol. “So? What do you want my help with? Scoring some holy water to purify your dirty thoughts?”

“Ha- _ha_ ,” Baekhyun laughs sardonically, rolling his eyes. “But no, actually, I want you to…” he trails off.

Jongdae waits, and waits, and waits.

“Spit it out, Baekhyunnie,” he says, finishing off his sentence about Trotsky and Lenin.

“I want you to wingman for me,” Baekhyun blurts out, tugging at the hem of Jongdae’s blankets. “I want you to try and get Chanyeol to ask me out.” 

Jongdae stares at the space above his desk, squinting. “And why the hell would I do that?” He asks, hoping it sounds more like a _I’m-your-best-friend-not-your-matchmaker_ sort of rhetorical question rather than a _I’m-hopelessly-in-love-with-you-so-setting-you-up-with-someone-else-is-rather-counterproductive_ sort of one.  

“Because Chanyeol is an idiot, okay?” Baekhyun says frustratedly, falling back onto the bed again. “And I’m not blind. He thinks my flirting is me bro-ing around or whatever else it is university athletes think flirting is, and I need him to not think that.” He explains. “However, as previously mentioned: Chanyeol is an idiot. He won’t notice anything unless someone else plants the idea in his head.” Baekhyun puffs out his cheeks. “As it stands, me planting that idea in his head goes against the subtleties of flirting, so.” He gestures vaguely to Jongdae, who just stares back at him flatly, unimpressed. 

“Right,” Jongdae says, shaking his head. “So, what? You want me to convince Chanyeol to fall in love with you?” _Gee!_ Jongdae’s mind helpfully supplies. _That sounds like a fantastic idea!_

“No,” Baekhyun replies, scoffing. “I just need you to hint at the possibility of him falling in love with me.” He crosses his arms. “I can handle the actual pulling him over the edge part myself, thank you very much.” Baekhyun grins. “After all, who wouldn’t fall in love with--” He waves a hand down his body. “--all this?”

 _Oh boy_ , Jongdae thinks.

“I’ve spoken to Chanyeol like, once,” Jongdae inputs, knowing that the longer this goes on the less he’ll be able to say no. Baekhyun’s good at getting people to do things for him, and Jongdae’s fucking in love with him so, you know, that doesn’t really help his case all too much either. “And now you’re telling me to be like, 'hey bro so how about my best friend over there, huh? Hot piece of ass am I right?'”

Baekhyun opens his mouth, closes it. “Pretty much.” 

Jongdae digs the palms of his hands into his eyes. “Why me?” He asks, rhetorically, hoping it comes out in a comically pained way rather than the actual, gut-wrenching heartbreak he’s genuinely feeling at this current point in time. Tonight has really been testing Jongdae's non-existent acting skills.

“Jongdae-ya pleeeassee,” Baekhyun whines, pouting, moving forward to fucking kneel at Jongdae’s feet and this is so not helping, thank you very much. “I really, really don’t want to mess things up with Chanyeol, you know? Like if I come on too strong or something I--” he shakes his head, biting his lip. “--I really, really like him. You’re the only person I can trust not to fuck this up for me.”

Jongdae sighs, looking down at Baekhyun’s pleading face, at the way he’s chewed up his bottom lip so bad it’s nearly bleeding, at the way his eyes are searching Jongdae’s face, desperate in a way that Jongdae’s never seen them before. This really isn’t just some… time of the month crush, Jongdae thinks, Baekhyun really, really wants to get it right with Chanyeol, and Jongdae may be in love with Baekhyun but… but best friend duties come first. It’s the only way he’s even managed to make it this far, after all. He can’t fault Baekhyun for liking somebody else when Jongdae won’t even tell him the truth.

“Really really?” He asks, quiet, feeling the fight seep out of his muscles as Baekhyun nods vigorously.

“Really _really_ really.” He says, also softer, still digging his teeth into his bottom lip. “So will you help me?”

“I’ll--” Jongdae chokes on his heart in his throat, swallowing it down. “--I’ll try.” 

Baekhyun’s squealing in a nanosecond, wrapping his hands around Jongdae’s neck and tackling him into an awkward hug that sends the desk chair tipping backwards, Baekhyun not really caring as he says his gratitudes over and over.

“Thank you thank you thank you _thank you_ ,” he repeats, fingers digging into Jongdae’s shoulders. He pulls back, hands still near Jongdae’s neck as he looks into his eyes, smiling blindingly. “I love you, you know that, right? You’re the best, Jongdae.”

 Baekhyun pulls him into another hug, and Jongdae just laughs reluctantly, feeling his heart sink further down his chest. _You have no idea._

 

 

□□□□

 

 

The problem with actually planting the ‘please consider romancing my best friend’ seed of thought into Chanyeol’s brain is that: a) Jongdae really doesn’t want to fucking do it.

But he has made a promise to Baekhyun, and breaking that seems somehow worse, in comparison, to breaking his own heart. Which is stupid, Jongdae knows, because self-sacrificing isn’t an attractive quality at all, but he can’t help it. Dedication is in his DNA, and as soon as Jongdae throws himself into something, it’s full force or nothing at all. Loving Baekhyun comes under that, too.

Which leads him to the main problem, i.e b) Jongdae doesn’t know Chanyeol at all.

It’s one thing to wingman the love of his life for a one-night stand at a party of a club with a beer in his hand and the reassurance that it’ll be a stand-alone event that’s more about _need_ than _want_ ; another entirely to have to actively search down someone he barely even knows across campus, just to befriend him for active wingman duties. Jongdae doesn’t even see Chanyeol once the following week leading on from Baekhyun’s proposal, and Jongdae isn’t sure if that's a good thing or not.

Baekhyun doesn’t outright ask about it, obviously, but it’s evident he wants to, eyes flicking to Jongdae every now and then as his teeth grinds into his bottom lip. Jongdae ignores the telltale signs, for the most part, because he doesn’t want to deal with Baekhyun’s hurt face and he also doesn’t want to deal with talking about Baekhyun’s target of affections anymore than necessary.

Jongdae’s really fucked himself over, hasn’t he?

“Hey Jongdae,” Baekhyun starts, on their Saturday night study sessions that they always do together because you feel less like a loser not going out on a Saturday night when you’re not alone. Here it comes, Jongdae thinks, sinking into his chair just that little bit further as if to brace himself for the upcoming Chanyeol rant. “Do you like anyone?”

Well, that hadn’t been what he’d expected.

“I--” Jongdae furrows his brow. “--What?" 

“I mean,” Baekhyun bites his lips, spinning his mechanical pencil across his fingers idly. “We always talk about me and my pathetic love life, it feels like we never talk about you and your pathetic love life?”

“Gee,” deadpans Jongdae. “I wonder why.”

Baekhyun groans in frustration, steadily growing in volume until it’s almost qualified as screaming. Jongdae winces. “I mean that’s not-- shit, that’s not what I meant." He makes a noise that can only be described as _blegh_. "We’re both nerds who study too much and have an unhealthy amount of money and time invested into League, but--” he grunts again. “--I just feel bad. I never ask you if you like anyone and I guess I kind of assumed if you did you wouldn’t want to talk about it? But now I feel like you don’t want to talk about it because I never ask and I just--”

“Baekhyun.” Jongdae says, flipping open his French revolutions textbook idly. “Please shut up.”

“Sorry.” Baekhyun says, pouting, and eventually does that tail-between-the-legs thing, where if he had dog ears they’d be drooping, or something. Fact of the matter is, Jongdae doesn’t talk about his love life for rather obvious fucking reasons, but now Baekhyun’s all mopey and wilted and Jongdae feels guilty. Baekhyun probably thinks he’s overstepped a boundary, or something, feels like he’s been a bad best friend and -- goddamn it, Jongdae _so_ can’t deal with kicked puppies.

“I do like someone,” he blurts --idiotically so-- tapping the tip of his highlighter against his textbook nervously. “I mean, my thirst isn’t as bad as yours but--” he laughs, strained. “--but I like someone.”

Baekhyun perks up at that, eyes sparkling. “Who?” He asks, gently --like he’s still afraid of prodding too hard-- waiting patiently.

Well, fuck, Jongdae thinks, because he hadn’t actually planned this far ahead.

“I--” Jongdae clears his throat. “--It’s kind of embarrassing but it’s--” _You. You. It’s always been you._

“Is it someone I know?” Baekhyun asks, and Jongdae can practically see the tail behind him, wagging. Jongdae isn’t sure whether he wants to cry at Baekhyun asking him or laugh. Neither option feels appealing.

“Yeah,” Jongdae croaks out, voice tight. “You could say that.”

“Someone I know…” Baekhyun mumbles, mouth twisted in thought as he strokes his chin. “Does that mean they’re in orchestra, too?”

“Uh. Yeah.” Jongdae blurts, and it’s almost possible now, to imagine it, to just pour his heart all over their textbooks and notebooks and some sick, masochistic part of him would be able to find relief in rejection or acceptance or neither at all. He’s been carrying the burden of loving Baekhyun for as long as he’s known Baekhyun and the idea of just letting it all out right now is, quite frankly, almost appealing. 

But then, Baekhyun’s voice: _I’m not blind. He thinks my flirting is me bro-ing around and I really, really don’t want to mess things up_ \--both are, Jongdae belatedly realises, far too relatable.

And then, even worse, _I like Chanyeol_. Chanyeol, Chanyeol, Chanyeol. Baekhyun can’t reciprocate Jongdae’s feelings if he’s already falling for someone else; after all, who falls in love with more than one person?

“Ugh! I can’t figure out who it is.” Baekhyun groans, pulling at his hair. “Please tell me who it is Jongdae oh my fucking god I’m going to go nuts if I don’t know now--” 

“It’s Kyungsoo-ssi,” Jongdae blurts, realising it’s the only name from orchestra he actually knows besides Chanyeol’s. Baekhyun’s orchestra stories either end with Chanyeol having done something stupid --or, these days, Chanyeol having done something hot-- or Kyungsoo chewing Baekhyun out for being a shitty concertmaster. He actually has met Kyungsoo, at the very least, when he’d tagged along for drinks at some friend of a friend of a friend's thing. He’d seemed a lot nicer in person than Baekhyun had made him out to be, but he’d been cute in a way that could be appealing if Jongdae wasn’t already so head over heels for Baekhyun. It makes sense, right? Like, it’s a believable crush to have, for Jongdae? Baekhyun’s not going to see through him to his actual love or anything… right? 

“Oh,” Baekhyun says, shoulders slumping. Jongdae can’t tell if it’s jealousy or shock or distaste that flashes across Baekhyun’s face, and neither is more comforting than the other. “I mean, if you’re into masochism and getting your ass kicked, then sure--” 

“Shut up,” Jongdae replies, tossing his eraser at Baekhyun’s head and missing artfully, to which Baekhyun snickers at. “He’s cute, okay? And like I said, I’m not as thirsty as you are but…” He looks at Baekhyun’s waiting face, blinking adorably and being… uncharacteristically patient, trying to be the best friend he thinks he isn’t just because Jongdae’s bottled up every affectionate feeling he’s ever had and left it to ferment like kimchi at the bottom of his frozen over heart. “... But I’ve been… thinking about asking him out, I guess.”

“Jongdae…” Baekhyun starts, looking oddly pensive. “That’s… that’s perfect!” He cries out suddenly, palms flat on the desk as he stands dramatically, Jongdae blinking back his shock. “I mean, Kyungsoo is really cute and I think you guys could get along really well since you both enjoy ruining my life--” Jongdae scoffs at that. “--But more importantly he’s good friends with Chanyeol and we could go on double dates and stuff and and and!” He grins excitedly. “And! I can help you by being your wingman.”

“What?” Jongdae splutters.

“You want to ask him out, right?” Asks Baekhyun, Jongdae nodding dumbly because at this stage he’s just learnt to accept his own self-inflicted hell. “Then I can help you by doing to him what you’re doing to Chanyeol, and we could even hang out as the four of us and then like, tackle them two-on-two, or something?” Baekhyun’s smile is so wide it’s turning rectangular. “Jongdae, this is fucking perfect.”

Except it isn’t really, not at all. “Baekhyun,” Jongdae tries, back-pedalling desperately. “I’m not twelve. I can ask someone out myself.” 

Baekhyun coos. “Of course you can, sweetie,” he says, patronisingly. Jongdae rolls his eyes. “But like, eye for an eye, wingman for a wingman.” He shrugs, still smiling. “Besides, I feel bad that you’re helping me with Chanyeol while your progress with Kyungsoo stutters because of it.”

Jongdae is twenty-one and _suffering_. “Baekhyunnie, seriously, I don’t want your help with this, okay? Let me…” he licks his lips. “Let me go at my own pace.” 

Baekhyun slumps, puffing out his cheeks, and slips back into his seat across from Jongdae. “Okay.” He says eventually, relenting. He’s biting his lip, though, eyes flicking to Jongdae every now and again. “But like, at least let me prod around a little?”

“ _No_ ,” Jongdae says, with more force, and hides his face in his textbook so that Baekhyun can’t see the panic across his face. The last thing he needs is Baekhyun setting him up on dates or some shit, because the idea of Baekhyun thinking Jongdae is in love with someone else hurts more than the idea of Baekhyun thinking Jongdae is in love with him, for some fucked up reason. It’s okay, though, in a week or two Jongdae can just brush it off and say it’s passed and he can go back to helplessly pining while Baekhyun progresses exponentially with Chanyeol. The perfect plan. A win-win scenario indeed.

“Fine.” Baekhyun says, still pouting. Jongdae sighs.

“If you’re wondering why I never tell you about my pathetic love life,” Jongdae teases, smirking. “This is why.”

“Jongdae-yaaaaaaaaa,” Baekhyun calls out, slumping over the desk and whining --loudly so-- but Jongdae just grins back at him. Baekhyun always looks so cute whenever he’s childish, and that, Jongdae thinks, circles him back to the first fucking problem at hand.

 

 

□□□□

 

 

Either god, or gods, or the spirits or whatever are being merciful by letting Jongdae help Baekhyun, or they're being cruel by ripping his still-bleeding heart from his chest and forcing him to look at it, because the following Tuesday, Jongdae finally, finally sees Park Chanyeol.

And by sees, that means, of course, bumps into him unceremoniously and spills hot coffee down the front of his shirt.

“Shit,” Jongdae cusses, bending over to pick up the books he and Chanyeol had both dropped, piling them all together as he groans. “I am so fucking sorry I wasn’t watching where I was going and--”

Chanyeol laughs, cutting him off. “Don’t sweat it, dude.” He says, taking the books from Jongdae’s hand and offering out a clean tissue from his back pocket. “I’m kind of clumsy too.” 

“Oh,” Jongdae says lamely, feeling the iced-frappucino-whatever drip down his nose. Chanyeol had been holding a drink, too, but considering the height difference, it had landed on Jongdae’s face --unlike Chanyeol’s t-shirt, which is seeped in brown. “Um. Thanks.” 

Chanyeol just laughs again, full-bellied and deep, and, well, Jongdae’s finding it increasingly hard to hate him with each passing second, just for being the focus of Baekhyun’s affections, wiping the ice off his face.

(He also can’t discredit Baekhyun for bad taste because _wow_ , Chanyeol really is a tall glass of water that Jongdae wouldn’t really mind drinking from, either, in the scheme of things.)

(Because he needs to make this situation messier than it already is, apparently.)

Jongdae shakes the thoughts away. “Can I buy you a replacement to make it up to you?” He tries hesitantly, gesturing to Chanyeol’s now-empty plastic cup which lies on the ground unceremoniously beside Jongdae’s still dripping one, coffee seeping between the cement cracks. The higher powers handed him this opportunity to make good on his promise to Baekhyun, Jongdae might as well take it.

Chanyeol smiles. “Sure.” He says. “If you let me buy you one, too. Kim Jongdae-ssi, right?”

“Just Jongdae is fine.” Jongdae narrows his eyes, tasting chocolate chip. “Americanos are cheaper than frappucinos, though.”

Chanyeol’s grin turns sharp. “Should’ve walked into someone with a cheaper drink, then.” 

Jongdae scoffs, but he’s smiling, even as Chanyeol insists on carrying his books as they retrace their steps to the coffee hut by the edge of campus, claiming that it’s to repay him for the extra 1500 won in price difference.

“I should bump into cute boys with cheap drinks more often,” Chanyeol teases, fiddling with his straw as they sit opposite each other on a wooden bench, leaving their stained, overpriced textbooks open in the sun to dry quicker. “Tastes better when you have someone to share it with.”

Jongdae thinks his americano tastes just as bitter as Minseok had trained him into enjoying it, but the words still have him flushing in embarrassment, face heating up.

“That’s a pretty lame thing to say, Chanyeol,” Jongdae retorts, smiling. “Which manhwa did you steal it from?”

“I’m more of an anime type of guy,” Chanyeol admits, as if Jongdae couldn’t already tell from the copious amounts of One Piece stickers covering his binders. “And sorry. My flirting game is pretty malnourished.”

“Feed it, then.” Jongdae replies, narrowing his eyes at Chanyeol over the lid of his polystyrene cup. Chanyeol grins at him.

“That’s what I’m attempting to do,” he says wryly. “You’re not making me feel particularly successful, though.”

“I’m a harsh marker,” Jongdae replies casually. Chanyeol hums.

“You’re doing a teacher’s degree, right?” Jongdae blinks at Chanyeol knowing that, considering they’ve spoken to each other maybe once, at some friend of a friend of a friend’s birthday dinner, or something. “What sort of teaching?”

They lapse into easy conversation, at that, Jongdae happily talking about how he wants to be a high school history and/or Korean teacher as Chanyeol chats about not really knowing what he’s going to do with his music degree, just knowing that he wants to be doing it --ironically enough, basketball had just been a side thing, to get him a scholarship, but it’s become a pretty integral part of his life now, too. Chanyeol’s so easy to talk to, so open and friendly and so… genuinely interested, in Jongdae --in multiple senses of the term-- and it’s… just nice, really, to have someone be interested in Jongdae for… Jongdae, not anybody else. It’s nice to look at someone, and have them look right back at you, rather than at somebody else. It's been a long time, for Jongdae, since he'd last experienced this.

“Ah, damn, my lecture is starting soon, I need to go.” Chanyeol looks down at his empty drink and frowns, holding out his phone. “Let’s do this again sometime, yeah?”

Jongdae takes the device, hesitantly inputting his details. “Alright.” He says, eventually. “But next time, don’t spill frappucino all over my face.”

Chanyeol laughs freely at that, self-consciously buttoning up his university jacket to hide the coffee-stain he’s now reminded of.

“It’ll be a proper first date next time, promise,” Chanyeol’s smile is lopsided and… and really fucking cute. Shit. “Next time we can skip the collision and coffee-spilling, okay?” 

“Yeah,” Jongdae finds himself saying, smiling. “Yeah, okay.”

It isn’t until Chanyeol’s out of sight, Jongdae realising that he too needs to get to his next lecture, that Jongdae registers Baekhyun’s name hadn’t even come up once in conversation, and he’s pretty sure Chanyeol just asked him out.

Well.

Shit.

 

 

□□□□

 

 

Jongdae maybe sort of avoids Baekhyun for a few days, after that, passing it off with replies of _busy studying, sorry Baekhyunnie~ ^^_ rather than dealing with the _hey so I think Chanyeol just asked me out instead of you, oops_ talk that’s inevitable.

Jongdae is a very proficient procrastinator.

Problem is, Baekhyun is also Jongdae’s roommate, which means Jongdae’s study sessions are now crammed into the on-campus library until late at night, living off of bottled yoghurt and grape candies in the back few stacks.

Someone dumps a pile of architecture-reference books at the edge of his table. Following the line from their hands to his face, Jongdae belatedly registers that said someone is Kyungsoo.

“Mind telling me why Baekhyun is asking my opinions about you every five seconds?” He asks, eyebrow raised. Jongdae swallows.

“Hello there, Kyungsoo-ssi,” he says. “I’m good, thanks, how are you?”

Kyungsoo looks --as always-- unimpressed. “Your best friend is about as subtle as a brick wall,” he says, scoffing, and takes the seat opposite Jongdae. “And you know, I’m flattered, but,” he looks at Jongdae pointedly. “I wasn’t under the impression that it was my pants you were trying to get into.”

Jongdae laughs nervously at that, causing the librarian to yell shush at him from across the room. “They’re very nice pants.” He jokes lamely. Kyungsoo’s face is as flat as always.

“Jongdae-ssi,” Kyungsoo says, eyes narrowing. “Does Baekhyun know you’re in love with him?”

“No,” Jongdae says slowly, sighing. “Does everybody else?” 

“We have a bet,” Kyungsoo explains. “In orchestra. To see how long it will take Baekhyun to realise.”

Jongdae blanches. “I don’t even know anybody in the orchestra.”

Kyungsoo glares at him with a _that’s the point_ sort of look. Jongdae slumps forward, groaning. 

“Okay, so I maybe told Baekhyun that I liked you to get him off my back,” Kyungsoo at least has the gall to look amused. “But that’s only because I was about to say that it was, you know, _him_ that I liked but then I chickened out and. Fuck.” Jongdae really wishes that one of his textbooks would swallow him whole, one of these days, like fucking Jumanji or something, send him back to the french revolution so he can be guillotined. “I also am sort of maybe dating the guy Baekhyun actually likes...?” Jongdae blames too many grape candies and less than four hours of sleep for his sudden honesty. Kyungsoo furrows his brow. 

“That sounds…” he trails off. “Pretty fucked up.” 

Jongdae falls forward again. “Tell me about it.” He mumbles, tasting the highlighter he’d left on the page.

“You should tell Baekhyun before you break his heart. Or your own. About the dating his crush thing.” Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. “Alternatively, you should tell Baekhyun’s crush that you can’t date him because you’re. You know. In love with Baekhyun.”

Jongdae groans. “I mean, I know you’re right.” He admits, rubbing at his temples. “But I still hate that you are.”

Kyungsoo’s lips twitch. “Then either tell Baekhyun that you actually like him or tell him to leave me alone.” He shudders. “There’s only so much of Baekhyun’s voice I can listen to on the daily and only so much honesty I can give when asked about your ‘ _duck butt_ ’.”

Jongdae smirks. “The only answer to that last one is that it’s fantastic, obviously.” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes.

“Right.” He says, filled with nothing but disbelief. He must be more of a boobs kind of guy, then, it’s usually only one or the other. “Who’s Baekhyun even trying to woo this time?” Kyungsoo asks, as if Jongdae’s wingmanning is a regular occurrence.

“Chanyeol.” Jongdae answers simply, since Kyungsoo seems like the sort of person who can keep a secret, and it’s not like Baekhyun’s private about his affections, anyway, sighing to let the strange pressure out of his chest, recognising it as conflict. He needs to end things with Chanyeol before they can even begin, because it’s going to get both him, Jongdae, and Baekhyun hurt, in the long run, and that’s not something he can afford. Jongdae's tried the dating while in love with someone else thing before; it hadn't worked out.

“Chanyeol as in… Park Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo asks, blinking. “I thought Baekhyun hated him.”

 “Yes, well, you know, Katy Perry actually wrote her 2008 hit single Hot ‘n Cold about Byun Baekhyun so--” Jongdae cuts off.

The tips of Kyungsoo’s ears are pink.

“You too!?” Jongdae asks, incredulous, earning another _shush!_ From the librarian on duty. Not a boobs guy then, Jongdae’s guessing, although judging by the lacking state of Chanyeol’s behind he’s definitely not an ass guy either. “What is it about Chanyeol that has everyone losing their pants!?”

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo hisses, glancing around like he’s afraid that someone might overhear and think the great Kyungsoo, principal second violin and sadist, might actually be capable of human emotion. “You’re the one who just said you're dating him.”

“No I said 'sort of maybe'  dating, it’s very different!” Jongdae harshly whispers. “But I don't like him like him and in my defence, Chanyeol is very lovable--” Kyungsoo’s giving him a look again, the same one as before. “--Oh, that’s your point, huh.”

Kyungsoo pinches the bridge of his nose. “This situation just got worse.” He mutters, dislodging his glasses. “I can’t believe Baekhyun and I are love rivals.”

“I can’t believe you even know what a love rival is,” Kyungsoo glares at him, mumbling something like _I watch dramas_ beneath his breath, but Jongdae’s way too numb to feel threatened, by now. “But, okay, now I just feel bad if I set Baekhyun up with Chanyeol when you obviously like him too.”

Jongdae’s allegiances will always be with Baekhyun, first and foremost, but that doesn’t stop him from feeling guilt.

Kyungsoo bites his lip in thought, frowning. His lips are much fuller than Baekhyun’s, and he doesn’t bite as hard, either. Huh.

“What if…” Kyungsoo starts, glancing at Jongdae nervously. “What if you don’t set Baekhyun up with Chanyeol.”

Jongdae blinks. “Excuse me?”

“What if, instead, you set Chanyeol up with me and I,” Kyungsoo sounds more convicted, now, voice growing less hesitant. “Help set Baekhyun up with you.”

“Noooooo,” Jongdae replies, voice cracking. “No no no no no, don’t make me choose between my best friend and myself.”

Kyungsoo’s eyebrow is so perfectly raised it’s almost an art form. “Why not? It’s the best scenario possible. This way, nobody ends up heartbroken.” He pauses. "Or single."

Jongdae shakes his head vehemently --some part of his brain registers that this isn’t exactly taking Chanyeol’s feelings into consideration, but he’s too worried to care right now. 

“It would still be betraying Baekhyun’s trust,” he argues pathetically, shirking into his seat.

“You already did that when you went on a ‘sort of maybe’ date with Chanyeol.” Kyungsoo looks unimpressed. “Besides, I’ll help him realise he’s in love with you, and then he’ll forget all about Chanyeol.”

Jongdae swallows, feeling the fight seep out of him. “You don’t strike me as the romantic type.” He manages, lamely. Kyungsoo shrugs.

“No,” he agrees, eyes sharp. “But I can be persuasive.”

“What if Baekhyun isn’t in love with me?” Jongdae tries. “I mean don’t you think this… wouldn’t be happening, if he was?”

Kyungsoo shrugs again, tiny shoulders lifting and falling. “I’m pretty sure some part of him is, he just isn’t aware of it yet.” He adjusts the thick-framed glasses across his face. “Besides, worst case scenario is that I end up with Chanyeol and you can just say you’re a shitty wingman. Baekhyun isn’t going to hold that against you.” Kyungsoo pushes one of his books further up the table. “And at least, that way, you don’t have to see the love of your life dating someone else.” 

Jongdae sighs, slumping in his chair. “Low blow.” He mumbles, staring at the library ceiling, knowing that his fate is sealed. “I can’t believe I’m picking someone who still uses ssi with me over my own goddamn best friend.” He groans. “Fine, fuck. I’ll set you up with Chanyeol.” 

Kyungsoo’s smile is shocking, somehow, because Jongdae’s never seen it before, maybe. His mouth forms an adorable little heart, and Chanyeol will be lucky, Jongdae thinks, if he ends up with someone as good looking as Kyungsoo.

“Pleasure doing business with you, Jongdae,” Kyungsoo says shortly, and picks up his books to leave. Jongdae merely sighs, and realises that his life suddenly just got very, very complicated.

 

 

□□□□

 

 

When Jongdae gets back to their dorm room, Baekhyun is smirking at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” Baekhyun returns, devoid of innocence as he smirks down at the ramyun cup he’s stirring. “I mean, I went to the library to drag your overworking ass home, but then I saw you with Kyungsoo.”

Jongdae blanches at the prospect of Baekhyun hearing… literally any stage of their conversation, but shortly realises that Baekhyun must’ve left them alone as soon as he’d seen Kyungsoo. Thank fucking god for that, then.

“Haha, yeah,” Jongdae says lamely, strained, and pulls out the extra spicy ramyun.

“Must’ve been my excellent wingmanning skills,” Baekhyun says smugly, buffing his nails. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

“About that…” Jongdae starts, pulling himself to sit on the counter top. “Do you think you could… tone it down, a little? Kyungsoo… actually asked me, why you were questioning him about me all the time.” Mixing in the truth makes for a very convincing lie, Jongdae has found.

“Oh,” Baekhyun replies, mouth neat and round. “I mean, subtlety is lost on people as down to earth as Kyungsoo but yeah, I can stop.” He smirks. “Seems like my work is done, anyway.” 

Jongdae just groans because, really, _his_ work has only just started. 

“How are things on your end, though?” Baekhyun asks, with a sort of forced casualty that betrays his evident interest, Jongdae forcing himself to snort rather than like, puke, or something. “With Chanyeol, I mean.”

Chanyeol had texted him earlier, actually, while he was at the library, following up on that second date. Jongdae had then texted Kyungsoo at what to do, and Kyungsoo had replied with _friendzone him_. Easier said than done, when Jongdae’s stomach goes all weird and giddy at the thought of Chanyeol’s easy smiles and casual touches. God fucking damn it.

“Good,” Jongdae lies. “I’ve been texting him actually, so, you know,” he gives a shaky thumbs up, which has Baekhyun grinning so wide it goes square. Jongdae’s heart does a backflip.

God fucking damn it indeed.

Baekhyun has always been a touchy person --Jongdae even more so-- yet still the hug surprises him, Baekhyun wrapping his arms around his neck as he presses his torso against Jongdae’s back.

“I’m just so happy,” he mumbles, into the crook of Jongdae’s shoulder. “Things are finally working out for us nerds, huh? No more relying on League of Legends and our right hands to keep us from feeling lonely.”

“Don’t worry,” Jongdae croaks out, smiling. “No matter how many boyfriends you chew through, you’ll always be the ADC to my support main." 

Baekhyun slaps his shoulder, breaking the hug. “That’s right, Jongdae-ya,” he says, smirking. “I’ll always be forced to carry you, won’t I?”

“More like I’ll always be your glorified babysitter,” Jongdae snickers, ruffling Baekhyun’s greasy hair. Gross. “Go take a shower, Mr. AD-Carry, and maybe I’ll cook something that ensures we don’t suffer from malnutrition.” 

“Okay,” Baekhyun relents, sighing, and smiles again, small and genuine. “Thank you, Jongdae,” he says suddenly. “I don’t deserve a best friend like you.”

Baekhyun’s locked himself in the bathroom before Jongdae can think of a reply to _that_ , and it leaves his chest weirdly twisted up and torn, groaning in frustration as he knocks his head back against the cupboards, hoping to shake all the memories of the past few weeks out of his mind.

 _Hey_ , Chanyeol’s text reads, right as Jongdae opens his phone. _About that second date…_

 _Sorry_ , the next one reads, _*first ;)_

Jongdae squeezes his eyes shut, digging his palms into the sockets.

 _About them being dates…_ he types out, hating himself for rejecting Chanyeol for a multitude of messy, sticky reasons that he really does not want to think about, right around now. _I don’t think I’m the sort of person you’d enjoy dating._

It's not exactly a lie.

 _I’m in love with my best friend, for one,_   Jongdae thinks but, mercifully, doesn’t type.

 _That’s cool_ , is Chanyeol’s near-immediate response. _But can we still be friends? You seem like a chill person and we haven’t had a chance to talk about marvel yet :p_

Jongdae laughs out loud despite himself, a breathy chuckle, and flips around his phone to see the Captain America design, shaking his head.

 _Friends sounds great,_ Jongdae responds, right as Baekhyun walks out of the bathroom, still dripping, towel low around his waist.

“Who’re you texting?” He asks, cocking his head. Jongdae averts his eyes, focusing on his phone screen instead.

“Nobody.” Jongdae lies, and tries not to let the image of Baekhyun’s tanned, wet skin, sear behind his eyelids too badly as he makes plans with Chanyeol.

 

 

□□□□

 

 

Jongdae meets up with Chanyeol for lunch at the food court the next day, with Chanyeol citing the place as extremely platonic with an easy excuse for them to leave for class if things get awkward. It breaks the ice easily enough, Jongdae laughing at Chanyeol’s own lameness, and it’s pretty nice, in a way, how genuine Chanyeol is about all this, about wanting Jongdae to feel comfortable and to show his interest in him as friends, nothing more.

It’s sweet and considerate and touching and it is _so_ not helping the current state of Jongdae’s already fucked up heart.

Jongdae’s phone buzzes. _Where u?_ Baekhyun's text reads. _Lecturer bailed and now im stranded w nothing 2 do. Cant let ppl think im a loser w/o friends._

Jongdae rolls his eyes. _Can’t let the people know the truth, huh?_

 _stfu_. Baekhyun responds. g _imme those latitude longitude coordinates, kim jongdae._

“Do you mind if a friend joins us?” Jongdae asks Chanyeol, already feeling bad enough about texting at the table as it is. Chanyeol shrugs, smiling.

“Nope,” he says in english, popping the ‘p’. “Because me minding a third wheel would imply that this is a date, which it is not.” He adds on, grinning. Jongdae laughs lightly.

 _At the food court with Chanyeol,_ Jongdae sends Baekhyun, _better hurry~_  

_not sure if i want to strangle u or hug u. ill let u kno when i get there._

_Love you too, Baekhyunnie~_

“Who’d you invite?” Chanyeol asks, when Jongdae finally pockets his phone.

“Baekhyun,” he says, and testing the water, adds on, “Is that alright?”

“Baekhyun as in… violinist Baekhyun?” Chanyeol asks, blinking. Jongdae nods. “I mean yeah that’s fine. I always forget... you two are best friends, right? I never see you together.” 

“Yeah well,” Jongdae nibbles on the tip of a fry. “We’ve known each other since we were five and we live together so I think we see enough of each other as it is.” He swallows. “Also, he’s a public hazard and an embarrassment.”

Chanyeol laughs at that, loud in a way that reminds Jongdae of his own laugh --Baekhyun’s, too-- drawing the attention of other people in the cafeteria. 

“Well, I’m sure you love him regardless,” Chanyeol teases, and Jongdae just freezes because… shit, does Chanyeol know too? After all, Kyungsoo had said the orchestra had a bet… but then again, Baekhyun had called Chanyeol an idiot, so it’s possible he’s not a part of that… Jongdae inwardly groans, fucking hell.

“There’s no proof that I do,” Jongdae says, while his mind thinks _you have no fucking idea._  

Chanyeol laughs at that, too. “How did you two even meet?” He asks, eyes attentive. He… genuinely cares, about what Jongdae has to say, and coming from someone as undeniably attractive as Chanyeol, it shouldn’t be this flattering.

“We went to elementary school together, and then the same middle and high school,” Jongdae smiles reflexively at the memory. “We both had to clean up the classroom after school ourselves in fourth grade because we’d been too noisy in class. Been best friends ever since.”

Jongdae mercifully skips over the details about how the classroom had been even messier once he and Baekhyun had been through with it, covering the room in chalk dust and soapy water. They'd gotten scolded really, really badly, but at least they never had to clean the classroom by themselves again. 

Chanyeol grins. “I can see that.” He says, nodding. “So how come you’re not in orchestra?”

“Don’t play an instrument,” Jongdae answers, sheepish. “All the musical talent went into Baekhyun, as reluctant as I am to admit it. Unless you count like, the triangle.”

Chanyeol even laughs at Jongdae's lame ass jokes. God damn it, Park Chanyeol. “Aw, c’mon, there’s no way someone as noisy as you doesn’t like music,” Jongdae arches an eyebrow, channeling Kyungsoo. Chanyeol smiles sheepishly. “I mean that in the nicest way possible, of course.”

Jongdae rolls his eyes fondly. “Well, I mean, technically I sing but I’m not like. Concertmaster level or whatever.” Chanyeol looks so amused. “Alright calm down Mr. Drummer I know there are no concertmasters in singing, I’m just making an abstract comparison.”

Chanyeol shakes his head, still smiling. Actually, does he ever not smile? Is there any point in Jongdae mentioning if he is when it would be more monumental when Chanyeol isn’t?

“It’s not that I just--” He grins at Jongdae. “--I can tell you really like singing. It’s cool.”

Jongdae has no idea how the hell Chanyeol can tell something like that but maybe passionate people can just see passion, in the same way Haley Joel Osment can see ghosts. 

“I mean, yeah, certified choir boy of six years,” Jongdae pats his chest proudly. “What about you, then? Do you sing?”

“You could say that,” Chanyeol answers cryptically, smile lopsided. His eyes tear across the cafeteria suddenly. “Oh! Kyungsoo-ya!”

Kyungsoo’s holding a tray, looking startled, but Chanyeol waves him over regardless, causing the whole room to look at them. Jongdae doesn’t care though, considering he’s friends with Baekhyun, he’s pretty damn used to it.

Kyungsoo looks uncomfortable though, hitting Chanyeol as soon as he sits down.

“Stop being a nuisance,” he scolds, Chanyeol pouting as he rubs at the spot delicately while Jongdae just watches because wow, Kyungsoo’s flirting technique is… surprisingly juvenile.

Like, a pulling-pigtails level sort of juvenile.

When Kyungsoo catches Jongdae’s gaze, he quirks an eyebrow, and Jongdae realises he might just have his work cut out for him.

“Was I interrupting something?” Kyungsoo asks, taking small bites of his food. Chanyeol shakes his head.

“‘Course not,” Chanyeol says, bumping their shoulders together. “I invited you over, duh.” Kyungsoo’s still watching Jongdae carefully though, eyes suspicious. Jongdae gives him a look that he hopes portrays _lay off of me_ rather than _I’m scared of you_ , or something equally as embarrassing. “Oh! You’ll never guess who asked me out today, Kyungsoo-ya.”

“Who?” Kyungsoo asks, eyes-narrowed at Jongdae. Jongdae gives him a _it’s not me you idiot!_  sort of look. They've spoken twice and now they're already communicating telepathically. Great.

“Soojung-ssi,” Chanyeol says, conspiratorially. “I was so shocked like… I barely even know her?”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “You don’t have to know someone to go out with them. Isn’t that the point of dating?” 

Wouldn’t Kyungsoo be making it easier for himself if he didn’t argue that? Why does he want to make Jongdae’s job that much harder? 

“Well yeah but like…” Chanyeol hums in thought, chewing around his food. “I dunno. I just don’t see her like that?” He shrugs. “I can’t imagine dating someone from orchestra, though, we have like… three rehearsals a week. What if we had a bad break up? I’d still have to see her all the time.”

Kyungsoo tenses up, almost imperceptibly, eyes drilling holes through his tray. Jongdae swallows.

“That’s a pretty cowardly thing to be afraid of,” Jongdae starts casually, Kyungsoo’s eyes snapping upwards as Chanyeol just looks at Jongdae, blinking. “I mean, yeah, break-ups hurt whether one of you did something shitty or not, but I mean, there’s a risk of seeing someone regularly in any relationship. Are you really going to turn down any member of the orchestra just because you think you might eventually break up? What if the love of your life is in like, the oboe section or something?” Chanyeol frowns at that, brow scrunching. (Jongdae probably sounds pretty hypocritical, all things Baekhyun considered but, semantics.)

“Are you saying I should date Soojung?” Chanyeol asks, almost comically confused. Jongdae chokes.

“What? No! I just…” Jongdae coughs into the back of his hand. “I’m just saying that if you think you might like someone, you shouldn’t uh. Deny the possibility, just because you might have to see them semi-regularly.” He shrugs awkwardly. “Besides you’re only here for like, what? Another year until graduation? It wouldn’t be that bad.”

Chanyeol ' _huh_ 's. “I never thought about it like that.” Kyungsoo looks at Jongdae in a way that can only be interpreted as _thank you_. Jongdae smiles back, and Kyungsoo quickly looks down at his food.

Jongdae’s pretty pleased with himself, truth be told.

“Hey,” Baekhyun says from behind Jongdae, sliding into the seat beside him. “What’re you guys talking about?”

“Oh you made it,” Chanyeol says, smiling at Baekhyun. Baekhyun grins back, and Jongdae can see the way his neck immediately turns pink.

Jongdae's chest hurts.

“Nothing important,” Kyungsoo answers smoothly, watching Baekhyun carefully. “I thought you had class.”

Baekhyun waves his hands. “Lecturer bailed,” he says, stealing one of Jongdae’s fries. “Something about being in hospital.” He shrugs.

“Oh that happened to me yesterday!” Chanyeol adds. “I think there’s a bad flu going around.”

They lapse into surprisingly easy conversation between them, after that, and it’s a weird dynamic that often ends in Chanyeol suffering the brunt of Jongdae, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun’s blows, only to laugh it off easily. Baekhyun flirts openly with Chanyeol --who’s none the wiser-- and Kyungsoo keeps looking at Jongdae to make him stop, but Jongdae just sends him sort of helpless glances in return, caught in the middle of a tug-a-war he’d never signed up for. It’s almost stupid how easily the four of them get along, considering that they’re unknowingly in a love triangle… or… square... or... something, but Jongdae finds himself laughing the hardest he ever has in weeks.

“We should do this again sometime,” Baekhyun starts, when they’re all packing away their trays to head their separate ways for their next classes. “The four of us, I mean. It was fun.”

He nudges Jongdae’s side, eyebrows raised pointedly, and Jongdae croaks out a pathetic “Yeah, maybe.” While Kyungsoo drills holes into the side of his head. Seriously, what is it with Kyungsoo and his looks?

“Well I’d definitely be up to it,” Chanyeol adds, grinning, and shoots them a wave as he heads across the cafeteria, Kyungsoo nodding politely as he goes the opposite direction. Baekhyun breaks out into a grin.

“Jongdae you sly son of a very lovely woman who I also consider a mother to myself,” he says, ruffling Jongdae’s hair. “I think we just scored ourselves a double date.”

“Yeah,” Jongdae lets out in agreement, albeit weakly. “Yay?”

 

 

□□□□

 

 

Han falls to the floor in laughter.

“Oh man,” he says, between wheezes. “This is too fucking good. What the fuck.”

“That does sound…” Minseok sips from his coffee cup pointedly. “Rather complicated.” He agrees.

“This is like some sort of drama bullshit,” Han says, still laughing. “Like, you like Baekhyun but you agree to help set him up with a dude you accidentally go on a date with and then you end up setting him up with some guy you barely even know just because he promises to set you up with Baekhyun.” Han wipes tears from the corner of his eyes. “Fucking gold, Jongdae. _Gold_.” 

Jongdae points at Han’s bent over form on the floor. “This is why I don’t visit.” He tells Minseok, who just looks amused. “Your dog’s an asshole.”

“I am a cat, thank you very much,” Han mumbles defensively, and finally gets off from the floor, seating himself next to Minseok. “Nya.”

“Please keep your weird kinks to the bedroom.” Jongdae deadpans, and at least Han has the decency to turn a little pink at that, clearing his throat. “Seriously, hyung, you’re not making me feel better.”

“Well, when I asked how you were, I can’t say that was the answer I was expecting.” Minseok adds, mouth twisted a little. “What are you going to do if Baekhyun finds out?”

Jongdae laughs nervously, drinking from his own mug. “I’m counting on that never happening, actually.” He swallows three too-big mouthfuls, burning his tongue slightly in the process. Kyungsoo had texted him this morning, a cryptic _returning the favour_. and nothing else. Jongdae’s still trying to make sense of it, hours later. “If either Chanyeol or Baekhyun find out about either of the agreements, I’m pretty sure that’ll ruin everyone’s chances so. You know. I think Kyungsoo will manage to be subtle.” 

Minseok frowns, Han still trying to stifle his laughter. “I can’t say I agree with your tactics but…” he sighs. “Please be careful, Jongdae. I don’t want you getting hurt. You or Baekhyun --or the other two boys, for that matter.” He says  _boys_ like he's thirty years older than them rather than two; it's pretty cute.

“Yeah,” Han agrees, hot chocolate sticking to his upper lip. “Sounds like the sort of messy shit that’s either going to work out perfectly or go to hell so, y’know.” 

“Who even taught you to swear like that?” Jongdae hisses, shaking his head. Han smirks. 

“Minseokkie did,” he answers, eyes half-lidded. “He’s surprisingly talkative in be--” Minseok’s hand clamps over Han’s mouth.

“This is why we can’t have nice things, Lu-ge,” Minseok purrs out saccharinely, Han swallowing in total and utter fear. Relationship goals, really. “Back to Jongdae’s no good very bad day,” he prompts, Han keeping his mouth faithfully shut when Minseok takes his hand back. “What about Chanyeol?” 

Jongdae blinks. “What about him?”

“Well, to me,” Minseok replies. “It sounds like Chanyeol likes you. You haven’t really factored him into your little plan.”

“Right,” Jongdae says, sarcastically. “So I should offer to help Chanyeol set him up with... Me? Just to make things better?” Han at least snorts; Minseok just frowns. “Hyung, he barely even knows me. He asked me out once because he thought I was hot and then he swept it under the rug, it’s not a problem.”

“Not like Jongdae could ever date when Baekhyun exists,” Han mumbles, Minseok swiftly kicking him in the shin without even looking. “Ow.”

“First time attraction is a powerful thing, Jongdae.” Minseok says, matter-of-factly. “It could be very possible that Chanyeol’s feelings for you get worse, instead of better.”

“Yeah,” Han agrees. “After all, Minseokkie rejected me like, sixty-nine times before he inevitably fell for me.” Minseok rolls his eyes. “Even if he’s fine with you being friends, what if he becomes like, the Jongdae to your Baekhyun?”

Jongdae frowns at that, thinking, and begrudgingly admits to himself that Han is… kind of right. Chanyeol had very openly said he’d been… interested, in Jongdae, so it’s not entirely unlikely that he’ll end up liking him _more_. Then again, Jongdae’s a nerd with a bad addiction to League and triple shots of espresso, he figures the more Chanyeol gets to know him, the less likeable he’ll become. Jongdae isn’t bright like Baekhyun, lovable like Chanyeol, or surprisingly considerate like Kyungsoo, he’s just… Jongdae. There’s not much there to like.

“You need to get a new cat,” Jongdae tells Minseok, who sighs.

“I know,” he says, and pushes Han’s whiny face away from his shoulder with two fingers. “But. Jongdae…” Minseok bites his cheek. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.” Jongdae admits, honestly, and knows he isn’t lying in the slightest.

 

 

□□□□

 

 

“You’ll never guess who I went out with today,” Baekhyun starts, once Jongdae is slipping his shoes off.

“Who?”

“Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun says, and grins. “He just like. Asked me out of the blue. As friends, I promise.” He hastily tacks on. “But we spent like, the whole time talking about you.”

Oh, so that’s what Kyungsoo meant about returning the favour. Is this for Chanyeol in the cafeteria the other day? Jongdae supposes he did, at the very least, tell Chanyeol to consider dating orchestra people. Maybe Kyungsoo counts that as a higher checkpoint than Jongdae does. Huh.

“Well,” Jongdae says, throat tight. “What did he say?” 

“Oh,” Baekhyun says, drooping. “Well, he kind of asked about you more than… answered, but! I promise I only said good things.” Jongdae laughs reluctantly. “Did you know Kyungsoo hasn’t even noticed your ass? I told him it was a crime against nature not to, seriously.”

Baekhyun exists to make Jongdae’s life hard, doesn’t he?

 _We need to talk_ , Jongdae texts Kyungsoo impulsively, later, once Baekhyun has taken over the shower for the next half-hour for his beauty routine, or whatever. He can't risk Baekhyun overhearing any part of their conversation, just in case, which means the dorm room and phone calls are officially off-limit.

 _Name a time and a place_ , Kyungsoo responds, and Jongdae slips his shoes back on.

 

 

□□□□

 

 

“This isn’t working,” he tells Kyungsoo, as soon as he sees him sitting on the bench they’d agreed to on campus, the mid-way point between their two dorms. “Baekhyun thinks you’re interested in me.”

“That’s what you called me out here for?” Kyungsoo asks, eyebrow raised. “Jongdae, I made him list off all your fantastic qualities while also forcing him to deal with the idea of someone being interested in you.”

Jongdae looks around. “So?”

“ _So_ ,” Kyungsoo replies, digging his hands into the pockets of his coat. “Jealousy can be a pretty good way of making someone figure out what they want.”

Oh.

“Do Kyungsoo,” Jongdae huffs out, shaking his head in utter disbelief. “You sly dog.” Kyungsoo shrugs stiffly, shifting over so that Jongdae can sit next to him. “But jealousy feels like a pretty dick move, you know. A smart dick move, but a dick move all the same.”

“It’s not like I’m using him,” Kyungsoo mumbles, defensive, and the tips of his ears have gone pink. It’s really cute, Jongdae thinks, that Kyungsoo blushes like that. “Besides, it’s… for the cause?” He tries, unsure, biting into his lip.

Jongdae laughs. “The ends justify the means, I guess.” He says, aiming for reassuring as he bumps his shoulder into Kyungsoo’s. “Maybe we should try to make Chanyeol jealous, too.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head. “Chanyeol likes you more… romantically than he likes me,” he says, so openly and flat, like it doesn’t hurt at all to say. Jongdae wonders how he does it. “It won’t exactly help.”

“Oh,” Jongdae says, at a lack of what to say. He licks his lips. “Do you think… do you think Baekhyun’s double date is a good idea?” He asks, instead, the silence weirdly thick and suffocating. Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows in thought.

“It… could be,” he says hesitantly, staring resolutely at the grass in front of them. “So long as Chanyeol doesn’t think it is one, it couldn’t hurt.”

Jongdae huffs, and feels that strange, twisting feeling again, the one where he feels bad for betraying Baekhyun’s trust like this. He also feels weirdly guilty, too, about treating Chanyeol… more like a chess piece, than a person, but out here, in the crisp night air with their breaths fogging the air and the street lamps casting warm yellow light across Kyungsoo’s face, it’s easier for Jongdae to forget about everything else, if only for a moment.

And that, Jongdae realises, is yet another problem to add to the list.

 

 

□□□□

 

 

The ‘double date’ goes off without a hitch, with Kyungsoo taking up Chanyeol’s attention and Jongdae bothering Baekhyun the entire time, much to the latter’s silent confusion. They see a movie and get dinner, nothing particularly special, but again Jongdae finds that weirdly comfortable dynamic, between the four of them, despite them all being… love rivals with each other, or some shit. Honestly, it’s so complicated at this stage, Jongdae doesn’t bother keeping track.

But they spend a lot of time with each other, individually, too, after that. Baekhyun and Jongdae are best friends, after all, and Jongdae dedicates a decent amount of his time to gently convincing Chanyeol to think of Kyungsoo in a romantic way, while his late-night rendezvous with Kyungsoo at the bench become a pretty regular thing, reporting on their progress to each other. So far, Chanyeol won’t say anything about Kyungsoo beyond _he’s cute_ , and all Baekhyun has seemed to do is compliment Jongdae’s ass.

“What sort of person obsesses over their best friend's ass?” Kyungsoo asks, wrinkling his nose. “I’m more of an arms kind of guy, anyway.” 

Finally, Jongdae works it out. “Yeah okay, well, what sort of person calls their friend cute?” He counters, looking pointedly. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes.

“'Cute' isn’t progress, Jongdae,” Kyungsoo says, glancing at him sideways, unimpressed. “Puppies are cute. Babies are cute. Things you feel platonically towards are cute.”

“You’re so dramatic,” Jongdae says, shoving Kyungsoo’s shoulder even though he’s the most monotonous, realistic person Jongdae’s ever met --except when it comes to Chanyeol, that is. Kyungsoo is weirdly romantic, and it’s… well, it’s really cute. “You are though, you know,” Jongdae blurts, Kyungsoo looking at him with his brow all scrunched up. “Cute, I mean.”

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo replies, bitterly. “That really makes me feel better considering you’re in love with someone else.”

Jongdae rolls his eyes. The _you’re in love with Baekhyun_ card had stopped making his heart freeze up in fear weeks ago. “If you want to be hot then act like it,” Jongdae tells him, reaching forward and taking Kyungsoo’s thick, black glasses. “Wear tighter clothes, get better glasses don’t… do that thing, where you wrinkle your nose. It’s very endearing.” Kyungsoo’s looking at him weirdly now, though, eyes wide --even though there’s no way he can even see Jongdae properly, without his glasses. “But like, the cute thing could be a good card to play, you know, it’s very… boyfriend-y.” Jongdae’s starting to feel as weird as Kyungsoo’s looking at him, licking his lips. “What?”

“You talk too much,” Kyungsoo mumbles, shifting his eyes forward as he squints into the distance, the tips of his ears pink. Jongdae puts the glasses on and winces, the strength immediately hurting his eyes. Kyungsoo scoffs… almost fondly. “Idiot.” He mutters, and snatches his glasses back, pushing them onto his face. He curls into his coat then, hands in his pockets, slouching. 

“I can help you become hotter, you know,” Jongdae says suddenly, tongue moving on its own accord, the traitor. “We can have a make over scene like in the Princess Diaries, or some shit, but you’ll still keep your glasses because you’re blind as hell.”

Kyungsoo huffs, poking Jongdae’s side. “You find Baekhyun attractive,” he says, pointedly. “I don’t think your tastes of ‘hot’ are qualified enough.”

Jongdae scoffs offendedly. “Baekhyun can be hot when he wants to be.” He argues, defensive.

“I guess.” Kyungsoo says, noncommittally, but the tips of his ears are pink, which means he doesn’t exactly disagree. Maybe Jongdae should feel jealous, or something, but instead he just feels… weirdly proud, because he's always kind of looking for Kyungsoo's approval.

Huh.

“So what do you say?” Jongdae asks, poking Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “I’ll come over early tomorrow before our double date and make you over?" 

Kyungsoo looks at him strangely, just for a minute, wide brown eyes unreadable behind the ugliest glasses Jongdae’s ever seen --which, ironically enough, Kyungsoo still pulls off. Kyungsoo could probably pull anything off, though, if he tried hard enough.

"Fine," Kyungsoo relents, sighing.

 _Bad thoughts_ , Jongdae tells himself, _bad bad bad thoughts._

 

 

□□□□

 

 

“Oh,” Jongin says, when he opens the door. “Hey hyung.”

“Hey.” Jongdae returns lamely, blinking. He hadn’t realised Kyungsoo’s roommate was Jongin --small world. “I’m here for Kyungsoo?”

Jongin squeaks in surprise. “I didn’t know Kyungsoo-hyung had friends,” he blurts, and then, as if sensing Kyungsoo’s piercing gaze behind him, corrects it to: “I mean I uh. Didn’t know you were friends. With each other. Hyung.”

Jongdae mouths _smooth_  silently as he slips into the dorm room, patting Jongin’s shoulder reassuringly as he sees Kyungsoo waiting for him at the kitchen table, hands folded awkwardly, like he doesn’t know what to do with them.

“I’ll see you later then, hyung,” Jongin mumbles, slipping out the door with textbooks in hands. Jongdae grins as soon as he’s gone. 

“I didn’t know you knew each other,” Kyungsoo starts, awkwardly, and he still looks out of place, somehow, even if this is his room, like he doesn’t know what to do with himself. Jongdae laughs in an effort to break the weird atmosphere.

“I tutored him a while back,” he explains, dumping his jacket over the chair opposite Kyungsoo. “Come on, let’s go hot-ify you up.”

“Never say that again,” Kyungsoo deadpans murderously, leading them both to his bedroom. Jongdae just cackles, opening up Kyungsoo’s wardrobe. It’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect from Kyungsoo --practically all in black, with everything so folded it seems there’s not a single hair out of place. His whole room is like that though, monotone and clean. It’s so different to the haphazard pink and blue mess of Jongdae’s dorm room with Baekhyun, he can’t ever imagine him in a place like this or Kyungsoo in vice versa.

He still finds himself doing it, though, for some reason.

“Ah-ha!” Jongdae says triumphantly, pulling a pair of jeans from the bottom drawer. “You do own skinny jeans. I feel like I just found the eighth wonder of the world.”

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo says with no bite as Jongdae tosses the --unsurprisingly-- black pants at him, catching it in one hand. “They’re so uncomfortable." 

Jongdae snorts. “No wonder you don’t appreciate a fine ass when you see one.” He wriggles his butt to prove a point, crouched over, and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Blasphemy, I tell you.”  He continues rummaging through Kyungsoo’s closet, careful to put things back and fold them when he decides they’re not good enough. It’s hard to find something that isn’t an oversized sweater or sportswear, but he does, eventually, settling for a neat button up that he rolls the sleeves of, when Kyungsoo comes from the bathroom, completely changed.

“Do you have any other glasses?” Jongdae asks, and when Kyungsoo shakes his head, frowns. Glasses aren’t unattractive by any means, but the ones Kyungsoo picked out… well, Jongdae supposes he definitely  _is_ visually impaired. “Are Jongin’s strong enough for you?” He tries, instead.

Kyungsoo blinks. “Yeah?” He says, watching carefully as Jongdae invades Jongin’s room mumbling 'sorry' to Jongin's stuff, rummaging through his dresser. “I feel weird about not asking.”

Jongdae shrugs. “He wears contacts all the time anyway and besides,” he pulls out a pair of blessedly wire-framed glasses, pushing them into Kyungsoo’s hands. “Jongin is hot. That’s the point, remember.”

“Right,” Kyungsoo mumbles, and his ears are pink again. Jongdae grins --he doesn’t think Kyungsoo will ever stop being cute, but he does, at the very least, look slightly less like a child when he’s dressed like this. 

The glasses help, too, not cluttering his face as they rest on the tip of his adorable little nose, letting his eyes seem as pretty and brown as they naturally are. Impulsively, Jongdae realises there’s only one thing missing, so he reaches his hand out and pushes Kyungsoo’s hair back, letting it fall over the side of his head rather than hanging lamely across his forehead, accenting the fact that it is an undercut. He looks good, and Jongdae feels his lips stretch into a grin as Kyungsoo stares at himself in the mirror, like he doesn’t even recognise himself.

“Mission accomplished.” Jongdae says, triumphantly, and wonders why his gut feels like it’s filled with molten lead.

 

 

□□□□

 

 

“Is it weird,” Baekhyun starts, while they’re standing in line for snacks while Kyungsoo and Chanyeol stand in line for tickets. “To find Kyungsoo really fucking hot?”

Jongdae chokes.

“I thought you liked Chanyeol?” He blurts, because he’s an idiot with chronic foot-in-mouth syndrome. Baekhyun shrugs.

“I do,” he says. “But…” He pouts in thought. “I dunno. Kyungsoo isn’t dressed like a gothic preschooler today and it’s messing with my dick.”  

Jongdae squawks a laugh and Baekhyun hits him, although he probably assumes Jongdae is laughing for a completely different reason. This is not what Jongdae had expected to happen when helping hot-ify Kyungsoo --although, if Baekhyun is finding him hot then that’s probably good news on Chanyeol’s end, too, at the very least.

“I’m allowed to find other people attractive, right?” Baekhyun asks, almost guiltily. “Like, I’m not… being unfaithful or something, right? Right?”

Jongdae snorts. “You’re not dating Chanyeol,” he says, with an eye roll. “And it's not like you're actually sleeping with Kyungsoo, either. Don’t be so dramatic.”

Maybe it’s a Chanyeol-related thing; being a total drama-queen.

“Okay but like, Kyungsoo looks hot, right?” Baekhyun asks, hitting Jongdae’s arm repeatedly. “I’m not gonna stop until you give me a yes or a no.”

“Ow ow _ow_ fine,” Jongdae relents, pushing Baekhyun’s hand away from him. “Yes, Kyungsoo is like, a solid eleven today. Congratulations to whatever generous being blessed him with that face.”

Baekhyun hums smugly, content. He tilts his head in assessment. “His ass is pretty good too, actually.” He points out, Jongdae following his gaze and finding that yes, in fact, Kyungsoo’s ass does look good when he’s not wearing, like, slacks, or, god forbid, _sweatpants_.

“Makes Chanyeol’s just look all the flatter beside him,” Jongdae adds, smirking, and Baekhyun hits him, although he’s grinning conspiratorially, making Jongdae wonder when they turned into the ass-sessment council.

“I like Chanyeol despite his flaws, like his lacking ass.” Baekhyun bites his lip to hold his grin in. “Besides, Chanyeol has abs.”

It’s hard to imagine, under all those layers of lame marvel graphic tees and long appendages Jongdae can best describe as limbs, that Chanyeol has abs… but, well, he is an athlete.

Before he even registers it, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol are looking back at Jongdae and Baekhyun, waving, and Jongdae… doesn’t know what to do, with the way his heartbeat has increased, three times the pace.  

 

 

□□□□

 

 

“Funny bumping into you here,” a familiar voice says, and Jongdae spins around to come face to face with someone’s chest, realising that that means it’s probably Chanyeol. It’s the coffee place, from the first time they’d… sort of met, after all. Jongdae grins.

“Let’s skip the actual bumping, though,” Jongdae jokes, and nudges Chanyeol’s side. “Buy me coffee?”

“Anything for you, darling,” Chanyeol says easily, earning him an All-Time Classic Jongdae Eye-Roll™ and a snort. “I didn’t ask you if you liked the movie though, on Thursday.”

“Overall? An Eh out of ten.” Jongdae says, watching as Chanyeol hands over a 10000 won bill. The weather is getting warmer, these days, so Chanyeol has discarded his university letterman jacket, settling for just the basketball singlet instead and wow, no wonder Kyungsoo is an arms guy.

Baekhyun’s comment about abs comes to mind, too, and suddenly Jongdae’s face is very, very warm.

Chanyeol hands over an americano, exactly how Jongdae likes it, three shots an all. “So you didn’t like it, then?” He prompts, and, “Walk with me?”

Jongdae obliges, easily falling into step beside Chanyeol. Jongdae doesn’t have class for the rest of the day, so he doesn’t mind the extra exercise --Minseok would be proud.

“It was okay,” Jongdae shrugs. “Pretty subpar writing, average plot, too. Decent special effects, though.” Chanyeol just hums at that, smiling. “What?” 

“Nothing,” he covers up easily, grinning into his sugary sweet excuse for coffee. “I’ve just never met someone who… pulls everything apart like you do.”

Jongdae frowns. “Obviously you need to talk to Kyungsoo more,” he teases, poking Chanyeol’s side. “He does it too, you know.”

“I guess,” Chanyeol’s looking at Jongdae strangely, somehow, smiling softly. “You guys are pretty good friends these days, huh?”

Jongdae falters, thinking about it, and weirdly, somehow, they are. In between all this… messy, love triangle-slash-square business, he has genuinely gotten to know Kyungsoo better, studying with him in the library, late night rendezvous by the park bench, crashing in his dorm room and rummaging through his closet, forcing him to wear better clothing, brushing back Kyungsoo’s hair with the tips of his fingers and trying to get him to smile, just to catch that rare, heart-shaped grin.

“Yeah,” Jongdae says, voice surprisingly tight. “You could say that.”

Chanyeol grins. “It makes sense,” he adds, nodding uncharacteristically sagely. “You’re both really caring people, you know?”

Jongdae snorts. “Because you’re not, like, the nicest person ever,” he counters, with an eye-roll. Chanyeol shrugs. 

“I’m nice but I’m not… considerate, like you two are.” He shoves the toe of his running shoes into the grass as he walks, shoulders swaying from side to side. “You just… notice things, that I don’t, I guess. Being observant isn’t exactly a skill of mine.” 

“I’ve noticed,” Jongdae replies slyly, nudging Chanyeol’s middle. “But it’s okay, your subpar charm, tall good-looks and all round Best Guy Ever aura sort of makes up for your inability to judge whether a movie is good or not.”

Chanyeol smiles, a small thing. “There are plenty of things you don’t notice too,” he says softly, and Jongdae scoffs.

“Oh yeah?” He prods, squinting upwards at Chanyeol’s cryptic smile. “Like what?"

"Like this," Chanyeol argues, and bends down. 

In hindsight, Jongdae had been kind of asking for it, but that doesn’t make it feel any less weird as Chanyeol kisses him, right in the middle of the path, cupping his hand around the back of Jongdae’s neck and pulling him closer. It feels weirdly right, somehow, too, tasting like coffee and chocolate-chip, but it also feels wrong, because Jongdae loves Baekhyun, and Jongdae had promised Kyungsoo that he’d help him get with Chanyeol, not Jongdae, and Jongdae has to pull away because he’s hurting four people at once --including himself.

“I--” Jongdae stammers. “--I can’t, I’m sorry.” He puts a few steps of distance between himself and Chanyeol, huddling into himself, wanting to run away but knowing that Chanyeol deserves better than that. He looks away. “I’m. I’m sort of in love with Baekhyun?” He offers pathetically, like a peace offering, or something, to make Chanyeol feel better.

Chanyeol’s jaw drops. “Oh.” He says, making Jongdae feel more self-conscious than he already does. “That… makes sense, actually.” Chanyeol licks his lips. “Shit I fucked this up didn’t I? I just... you kept saying nice things about me and…” he groans into his hands. “Uhhh let’s pretend this didn’t happen, please?” He squeaks. “Fuck me.”

Jongdae laughs nervously, hoping to diffuse the tension a little. “It’s alright I… can empathise,” he offers lamely, patting Chanyeol’s shoulder. “I’m really sorry about this Chanyeol but I just-- I can’t.”

Chanyeol shrugs stiffly. “I get it, ‘s cool.” He clears his throat. “But I kinda just got rejected and I’d like to keep as much dignity as possible so. I’m gonna go.”

Jongdae laughs lightly, lets Chanyeol power walk down the sidewalk, and tries to not let himself feel so crushed. After all, he’s the one that had just rejected Chanyeol, so why does Jongdae feel like he’s the one with the broken heart?

 

□□□□

 

 

It’s not like in all his years of loving Baekhyun, Jongdae has let it get in the way of his actual dating life. He’s had significant others before, slept with other people, and he’d all… liked them, to some extent, felt something much similar to how he feels about Baekhyun --if not as solidified or well-established-- but inevitably it would never work out, because they’d discover how he feels about Baekhyun and… well, no one likes being in second place, even if Jongdae wouldn’t exactly call himself a compartmentalising type.

And Chanyeol just falls into that line, too, the sort of person who doesn’t deserve to have his heart broken just because Jongdae can’t get over Baekhyun, no matter how hard he tries. Chanyeol is handsome, he’s funny and charming in a stupid, puppy way, and he’s just so easy for Jongdae to talk to, to get along with. He is, Jongdae realises, someone Jongdae likes… a lot. A lot more than just a friend. 

And he’s also the exact same person Jongdae is trying to set up with Kyungsoo, the same person that Baekhyun also likes, and by pursuing… well, anything with him, he’d be breaking two other hearts in the process, and, inadvertently, his own.

Jongdae groans in frustration, is there anyone he can just… be with, without someone else hurting in the process?

 

 

□□□□

 

 

“Wait, I’m so confused,” Han says, blinking. “You kissed Chanyeol.”

Jongdae ignores the blush on his own face. “Yes.”

“But you’re in love with Baekhyun.”

“... Yes.”

“Okay, but it seriously sounds like you have a crush on this Kyungsoo guy,” Han says, looking to Minseok. “Don’t you think?”

Jongdae freezes, looking shocked, and Minseok smiles at him apologetically. “Sorry Jongdae,” he says, as if he’s holding a gun against Jongdae’s head and is about to pull the trigger. “But I thought you did too.”

Jongdae would prefer getting shot, actually.

“No,” he says adamant. “No no no I can’t make this any worse than it is.” He hangs his heads in his hands, whining _whyyyyyyyyyy_ louder than necessary. Before he can even register it, Jongdae’s traitor of a brain is thinking about Kyungsoo’s smile, about his lips, about the way he looks so soft when he thinks no one’s watching, how considerate he can be, giving Jongdae leftover food in plastic containers, returning Baekhyun’s violin when he leaves it at practice, about how he looks in Jongin’s glasses, about how there’s so so so much of himself that he keeps hidden, and about how Jongdae wants to unwrap every single layer, kiss every inch of skin.

“Fuck me.” He declares suddenly, gaining taken aback glances from other patrons in the cafe. “One fucking bout of pining just wasn’t enough for me, was it?”

“Guess not,” Han says casually. "Man, I'm never going to need cable TV ever again so long as your life is like this." Minseok kicks him under the table scoldingly. “Ow.”

“ _Hyunggggggg_ , ” Jongdae whines, near sobbing as he slams his head against the table. “I don’t know what to _dooo_.”

“Well,” Minseok says, looking like he has his work cut out for him, eyebrows raised as he looks up in thought. “I guess you just have to make a choice.” 

“Or date all three of them,” Han offers uselessly, around a mouthful of blueberry muffin. “Personally I’d pick Kyungsoo. He sounds like the hottest.”

Minseok hums. “I think Chanyeol sounds like the best bet, considering Baekhyun doesn’t like you back.” Han looks at him with a frown. Minseok shrugs unapologetically. “Tall boys.” He says, almost wistfully. Han looks offended; Jongdae feels violated, like his grandfather just talked about sex, or something.

“I can’t pick any of them,” Jongdae says in response, whining again. “Kyungsoo and Baekhyun both already like Chanyeol and if I date Chanyeol then that’d hurt both of them ten times more than if I hadn’t told them I’d try to get Chanyeol to ask them both out.” Jongdae feels like crying. “This fucking sucks.”

“Yeah, good one, by the way,” Han adds uselessly, Minseok shooting him a look. “I guess you better just go back to the hopelessly pining thing but like, three times more than usual.”

Jongdae sighs, Minseok kicks Han again, and Han just cries out indignantly, rubbing at his shin. 

He’s not wrong; and that’s the worst damn part.

 

 

□□□□

 

 

Some days are easier than others.

It’s not like Jongdae isn’t already used to pining over Baekhyun, but it’s harder with Chanyeol, knowing that he feels the exact same way back but Jongdae has already rejected him. Chanyeol is easy to deal with, though, since he’s put some pretty noticeable space between them, just to make things easier --for both of them, maybe.

The worst, however, by far, is Kyungsoo, because Jongdae hadn’t even realised how much of his time is dedicated to being spent with Kyungsoo, these days, until he’s far too aware of Kyungsoo every time he’s nearby, every time Jongdae feels the urge to touch him, feels the thought _cute_ pop in and out of his mind. Kyungsoo isn’t an affectionate person, by any means, but the fact that he reciprocates Jongdae’s touches to the best of his ability really isn’t helping, and if Lu fucking Han hadn't pointed out Jongdae's evident crush, then maybe this would be just a teeny tiny bit easier. 

If loving Baekhyun feels normal, like coming home after a long day, then liking Chanyeol feels like first times, like jumping off of cliff-edges and tasting butterflies behind his teeth, like something warm and giddy which bubbles through Jongdae’s blood stream. Liking Kyungsoo, however… well, liking Kyungsoo feels like something soft and private, hidden, but when unleashed it’s like a flash flood or forest fire, burning and destructive but so momentous, soft and warm but hard and sharp all at once. 

Jongdae feels like his entire body is being squeezed to tight, suffocating. Everything is so overwhelming, and he doesn’t know what to do.

“Hey,” Kyungsoo asks, tugging at his sleeve. “Are you alright?”

Somewhere along the way, Thursday night movies had sort of become their thing, the four of them; Chanyeol and Baekhyun in line for snacks, while Kyungsoo and Jongdae wait for tickets.

 _No_ , Jongdae thinks. “I’m fine.” He says, gestures to Chanyeol and Baekhyun, laughing across the room. “You’re letting your love rival win." 

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “They’re both too idiotic and oblivious to know that something’s up with you,” he says, so matter-of-factly, and it’s another thing, Jongdae thinks, that he admires about Kyungsoo; how honest he is, how open --while simultaneously being so damn reserved. “So I can give Baekhyun a head start,” he smiles at Jongdae, small and fond. “Just this once.”

Jongdae sucks in a breath, Kyungsoo nudging him with his elbow, eyebrows raised pointedly and waiting him to finally say what's wrong. Jongdae just laughs.

“Do you think....” Jongdae starts, hesitant, but… but wanting, wanting to let his thoughts go, wanting to talk to Kyungsoo about it, wanting Kyungsoo. “Do you think it’s possible, to like more than one person?”

Kyungsoo is carefully schooling his expression, Jongdae notices, to make Jongdae more comfortable --and boy! Doesn’t that just make Jongdae’s heart feel great.

“Very easily,” Kyungsoo says carefully, shuffling forward when the line does. “Polygamy isn’t completely unheard of.”

“I’m not talking about having thirty wives,” Jongdae hisses, shaking his head. “I just…”

“Polyamory, then,” Kyungsoo corrects, cutting Jongdae one of his favourite looks. Jongdae used to find them threatening, once upon a time, now he just finds them, like the rest of Kyungsoo, unquantifiable-y adorable. “You like someone aside from Baekhyun?” 

 _Yeah_ , the traitorous part of Jongdae's brain supplies, _Chanyeol. And you._

“No,” Jongdae splutters, red-faced. “I just… what if Chanyeol dated both of you? Like, instead of… breaking Baekhyun’s heart.” He shifts uncomfortably.

Kyungsoo shrugs. “I’m not exactly against it,” he says, honestly. “But I’m an open-minded person and, besides,” he looks at Jongdae carefully, like someone might look through the lense of a telescope, or a microscope, scrutinising every inch of whatever's on the other end. “That means you’d be left out.”

Unless, of course, Jongdae joined in too.

“Right,” Jongdae says swallowing. “That’s just too much forward thinking, huh?”

“Is this really what’s been bothering you?” Kyungsoo asks worriedly.

“Sort of,” Jongdae answers, vague, but they’re mercifully called to the counter before Kyungsoo can say anything, to follow up to that. 

“Popcorn for us and nachos for you,” Baekhyun says, when they meet up in the centre of the foyer, handing over the box to Kyungsoo --who genuinely looks taken aback, that Baekhyun remembered something as insignificant as that. “Oh don’t look so shocked. I know I’m loud but that doesn’t mean I don’t listen.”

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo says, smiling up at Baekhyun, and not for the second time that day, Jongdae thinks, _what if…_

 

 

□□□□

 

 

The Thursday night movies are pretty usual, these days, but the drinks after is certainly a new addition, Baekhyun claiming that they needed it, after surviving mid-term hell. Jongdae knows he just wants the drunk excuse to grind up on Chanyeol, but it doesn’t hurt as much as he expects it to.

Besides, watching them now --Baekhyun doing exactly that-- Jongdae notes how… happy Baekhyun looks, Chanyeol, too. They look like they’re enjoying themselves, laughing, bumping each other around on the dance floor. Jongdae smiles fondly before he can even stop himself.

“Idiots,” Kyungsoo mumbles, dumping their next round on the table, but he sounds kind of fond, too. Kyungsoo’s lips are wet from drinking so much beer, his hair pushed back from his face, and he looks so stupidly good, so kissable, that Jongdae has to shove his drunk, impulsive hands into his pockets, just to stop them from doing something he’ll end up regretting, later on.

“Kyungsoo-ya always delivers,” Chanyeol says thankfully, gulping down his beer as he and Baekhyun return from the dance floor, sweaty and flushed. He still won’t meet Jongdae’s eyes, though, and that hurts extra hard when Jongdae is too tipsy to not let it.

They spend the rest of the night bickering as usual, Kyungsoo and Jongdae ripping the shitty movie they’d seen to shreds while Chanyeol and Baekhyun just grin at them, like the idiots they are. At some stage, Jongdae has drunk so much he feels dizzy, bladder full, and Baekhyun’s long, pretty fingers have made their way around Chanyeol’s bicep, gazing into his face lovingly. It’s… kind of cute, Jongdae thinks, once he gets over the initial jealousy, and then the double heartbreak, they’re… good together. 

“I’m going to the bathroom,” Kyungsoo says suddenly, standing up and storming across the bar, face pale like he needs to puke.

“Me too,” Jongdae adds hastily, licking his lips. If Jongdae had been in pain, then that means Kyungsoo probably is too, and even if Jongdae is kind of shitfaced, and maybe a little lacking in control, he’s sober enough to register that no one wants to deal with heartbreak alone. Besides, Kyungsoo had been looking out for him earlier, so maybe Jongdae should return the favour --it's what they're good at, after all, the two of them; taking care of others.

“Hey,” he slurs, when he stumbles through the bathroom doors. “You good?” 

Kyungsoo laughs as Jongdae trips over nothing, catching himself on the sink edge. “Not really,” he admits honestly, shrugging. Even drunk, Kyungsoo has stupid amounts of control. God damn. “But I will be, eventually.” 

Jongdae hums, pulling Kyungsoo against his chest because he’s too drunk to know better than to stick his fingers through the bars of a lion cage, but Kyungsoo just sort of… softens into it, tipping his head against Jongdae’s shoulder in their awkward, sideways hug. The sink is digging into Jongdae’s ass. 

“I hate you,” Kyungsoo mumbles, lips brushing by Jongdae’s collarbone enough to make him shiver. “You just have to be so nice, don’t you?” He asks, although Jongdae figures it’s rhetorical. “Helping out someone who still uses ssi, being kind to every single fucking person in existence. Being so… loud, and stupid, and pretty.” He’s full on glaring at Jongdae now, face to face, eyebrows drawn down in confusion --maybe anger?-- Jongdae’s mouth is dry, words escaping him. “You just had to make me consider polyamory, didn’t you?”

“Wha--” but Jongdae can’t even finish his sentence, because Kyungsoo is pressing their mouths together, and _wow_.

Kyungsoo is just as kissable as he looks, apparently, lips soft and… kind of big in a way Jongdae hasn’t experienced before, pushing them open before he can even think about it. Drunk Jongdae is definitely less in control than Sober Jongdae, because Sober Jongdae should be pushing Kyungsoo away, should be asking him what the hell is happening or how he feels or something, but instead, Drunk Jongdae, ever the traitor, just sighs into Kyungsoo’s mouth, threads his fingers through his hair in the way he’s been wanting to ever since he first saw Kyungsoo, a million years ago, at drinks out with friends of a friend of a friend.

“You guys were taking so long is everything alri--” Kyungsoo pulls back, gasping, and then he and Jongdae both are forced to stare at Chanyeol and Baekhyun, who just blink back in return. 

Baekhyun’s eyes are searching Jongdae’s face, like he’s torn between cheering for him and yelling at him, and Jongdae doesn’t know what to do with that at all.

Chanyeol, though, decides to break the silence.

“What the fuck? ” He says, in what Jongdae assumes to be disbelief. “You stopped kissing me because you said you were in love with Baekhyun!”

Chanyeol, at least, has the decency to look like he’s said something wrong, eyes wide as he slaps a hand across his own mouth. 

“ _What the fuck_? ” Kyungsoo and Baekhyun both say, in unison, “ _You kissed Chanyeol_?”

Baekhyun lets out an extra surprised squeak as the words process through his brain. “You’re in love with me?”

Jongdae groans, head too dizzy from five glasses of beer and kissing Kyungsoo to make sense of anything, right now, stumbling out of Kyungsoo's space.

“Thanks, Chanyeol,” he says, glaring, and Chanyeol meets his glare right back.

“I should be the one being angry in this situation!” He says, frantically, and then fidgets in the doorway. “I can’t deal with this right now I’m-- I’m gonna go.” He shoots Jongdae something that’s probably meant to be intimidating but is about as threatening as a toothless kitten. “It’s about time you told Baekhyun anyway.” He huffs, defensively, and storms out.

“Right,” Kyungsoo’s saying, pushing distance between him and Jongdae, step by step. “Right.. Baekhyun… You… right.” He shakes his head, laughing bitterly. “I should go too this was-- this was a mistake.”

“Kyungsoo--” Jongdae tries, desperately, but Kyungsoo shrugs off his hand and pushes past Baekhyun, head down and shoulders raised as he leaves the bathroom, almost like he’s trying to disappear.

Jongdae groans again in frustration, kicking the wall beneath the sink and hating the sight of his reflection. Baekhyun just outstretches his hand, slowly. 

“Come on, Jongdae,” he says, softly, but his eyes look so sad. “Let’s go home too.”

 

 

□□□□

 

 

The taxi back is awkward, to say the least, with a thick, tense silence hanging in the air as Jongdae’s too drunk to know what to do with it. He feels dizzy, and kind of nauseous, and he doesn’t know how much of that is the alcohol and how much of that is the fact that he’s sort of just fucked up his chances with the three people in the world he cares about the most.

It doesn’t help that Baekhyun is being the good best friend that he is, nursing Jongdae’s headache and forcing him to drink water, not giving him any food in case he throws it up in the night anyway. He even tucks Jongdae into bed and everything, and when Baekhyun turns off the light he just looks… hesitant, somehow, like he wants to say something but doesn’t.

“Good night, Jongdae,” he mutters, almost unheard completely, and it’s the last thing Jongdae registers before he blacks out.

The morning tastes suspiciously like a hangover and regret, leftover beer taste lingering in Jongdae’s mouth. Unsurprisingly, the first thing he does is barf --although he's not sure if that's the hangover or not-- and the second thing he does is knock on Baekhyun’s door.

Baekhyun, at the very least, opens it. 

“Hi.” Jongdae says, fidgeting. 

“Hi.”

A beat passes and, then, another.

“I feel like we should probably talk.”

Baekhyun opens his door with a twisted sort of smile on his face, like he’s feeling amusement but thinks that he shouldn’t. “Probably.” He agrees, and throws himself onto the bed, patting the spot on the end so that Baekhyun can rest against the headboard while Jongdae curls up at his feet, spilling out their thoughts to each other like they used to when they were kids. Jongdae can’t even remember the last time they’d sat, just like this, and the thought makes him choke on a sob.

“Are you really in love with me?” Baekhyun asks suddenly, after far too many minutes of silence, looking at Jongdae impassively. Jongdae nods shakily.

“Yeah,” he says, and it doesn’t feel as grandiose or relieving as he’d always thought it would be, severely lacking in any ginormous romantic piles of mush. “Have been for a while, thanks for noticing.”

Baekhyun sighs at that momentarily, mouth twisting. “You said you liked Kyungsoo.”

“I. I didn’t but. I do? Now?” Jongdae shakes his head. "It’s complicated.”

Baekhyun scoffs. “Then you better start explaining, lover boy.”

“I don’t even know where to start,” he admits, sulking, pulling his knees to his chest.

“The beginning, obviously,” Baekhyun tells him. “Duh.”

So Jongdae does.

He starts all the way from the very beginning, in fourth grade, when Baekhyun had gotten chalk dust on his nose while they’d been cleaning the classroom together and Jongdae had thought wow, I’m kind of in love?

Then, since his narration skills are pretty weak, Jongdae skips ahead to making it up about liking Kyungsoo just so that Baekhyun wouldn’t get suspicious, and then to agreeing to help Kyungsoo instead of Baekhyun, in hopes that Baekhyun would maybe like him back. He also mentions the Chanyeol side of things, about bumping into him and sort of maybe dating him that one time and about kissing him, right in broad daylight, and Baekhyun doesn’t once even look… hurt. For the most part, his face just stays blank, impassive, nodding to show he’s paying attention but never looking… pained, or betrayed, or something equally as awful to let Jongdae know that he’s fucked up. Baekhyun is playing the role of an unbiased best friend perfectly, and sometimes Jongdae forgets that there are still things about oblivious Byun Baekhyun, that he learns to love over and over.

At the very end of it, Baekhyun looks pretty pensive which is, to be honest, pretty expected, but the silence still sets Jongdae on edge. Baekhyun is never quiet, and it’s that same sort of noise that Jongdae loves to begin with, the kind that’s so loud you can’t think about anything else. So it’s no surprise, really, that he finds himself nervous, anxious, feeling like he wants to puke... again. 

“You… sure fucked up, didn’t you?” Baekhyun decides on eventually, with a smirk. Jongdae could almost cry from relief. 

“Yeah,” he croaks, and Jongdae isn’t the type of person who cries, but he does wipe at his eyes before they can start any funny business. “I really, really did.”

“Ah, god,” Baekhyun says, tipping his head back as he rubs the back of his neck. “Imagine my surprise when I find out I’m the one you’re in love with but the only one you haven’t kissed.”

“That can be arranged,” Jongdae says, although he knows it’s just… teasing, joking, something to lighten the mood. Baekhyun hasn’t outright rejected nor accepted Jongdae’s indirect confession of feelings, and it’s not something Jongdae particularly feels like testing the limits of, right around now. 

“Calm down barf breath,” Baekhyun says, poking Jongdae’s shin with his toe. “I can smell you from here.” He shakes his head, smiling. “You should probably apologise to Chanyeol and Kyungsoo before you kiss someone else anyway.”

Jongdae sighs. “You’re right.” He admits, tracing the patterns stitched into Baekhyun’s quilt. “I just don’t know what to do.”

“‘Sorry’ might be a good start,” Baekhyun jokes, smirking. Jongdae sighs, closing his eyes, and then stands with new found conviction, determined not to fall over from the sudden dizzy spell. 

“Okay.” Jongdae tells himself, taking a steeling breath. “Okay. I’m going to find Chanyeol and Kyungsoo and I’m going to apologize.” He marches forward to Baekhyun’s doorway and then stops, swivels on his back foot. “Baekhyun?” He asks, sudden conviction draining away. Baekhyun hums in acknowledgement, watching amusedly. “Do you… I mean… Me…?”

Baekhyun scratches his cheek. “I’ve never actually thought about it?” He admits, sheepish, and bites his lip. “Sorry Jongdae, I wish… I wish I could give you a better answer. Than uh. That." 

Jongdae shakes his head vehemently. “Don’t.” He says, simply. “It’s better than like… outright rejection.” Better than hitting the ground and being forced to look at the pieces that broke in the crash. No, this is Baekhyun giving him a maybe, and this is Jongdae still falling, unsure of whether it’s going to hurt when he lands.

But hope --even if it’s just a sliver of it-- is something Jongdae could use, right around now.

 

 

□□□□

 

 

Finding Chanyeol is easy enough, shooting hoops on the outside campus court and grunting every time it misses.

“Hey,” Jongdae says.

Chanyeol looks at him, eyes widening, and then suddenly looks away, like he’s seen something very uncomfortable and wants to look at it out of sick curiosity but refuses to.

“Can we talk?” Jongdae asks, and when Chanyeol just keeps avoiding his gaze, making no move of confirmation or denial, grunts in frustration. “Are you seriously giving me the silent treatment right now?”

Chanyeol makes a strangled that’s torn between blatant discomfort and outrage. “I dunno Jongdae!” He says, still avoiding his eyes. “You reject me, you make out with me, you reject me again by saying you’d rather make out with your best friend which is, you know, fair and shit, and then boom! You make out with the closest thing I have to a best friend.” He makes another choked noise. “I don’t really want to look at you, or think about you, or especially talk to you right now, so if you could just give me some space, please?” He shakes his head, breathing deeply. “I have a lot of shit I need to think about.”

Jongdae opens his mouth, closes it, nods solemnly, and walks away.

“If it’s any consolation,” he tries, weakly. “I really am sorry.”

Chanyeol doesn’t respond.

 

 

□□□□

 

 

“Oh, hyung…” Jongin says suddenly, glancing over his shoulder. “Kyungsoo-hyung isn’t home right now.”

“I can see him behind you,” Jongdae tries, pointing at a Kyungsoo who’s studying at his desk, headphones on and back turned. Jongin grins sheepishly and slips forward, shutting the door behind him.

“Look,” Jongin tries, rubbing behind his ear. “Kyungsoo-hyung specifically told me not to let you in and I kind of don’t want to get kicked out?” He smiles apologetically. “I don’t know what you did but just give him space for like, two months, maybe three, and I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Jongin waves his hands nonchalantly.

“Two months!?” Jongdae squawks. “I’m not waiting two months, Jonginnie, let me in.” 

Jongin puts a hand on Jongdae’s chest placatingly, staring him down. “Hyung,” he starts, gently. “You’ll only make it worse.” 

Jongdae deflates at that, sighing, and scrubs at his face in frustration. Jongin smiles at him sympathetically.

“Just give Kyungsoo-hyung some space, alright?” He advises. "He has a lot on his mind right now." Jongin slips back into the room, leaving a very, very frustrated Jongdae to wallow in his own misery, alone. 

 

 

□□□□

 

 

True to his word, Jongdae does give them space --all three of them-- and time, to think about things, avoiding Baekhyun whenever their schedules mean they should be both at home, hiding behind trees every time he sees Chanyeol walking, coffee in hand, leaving the library as soon as he even senses Kyungsoo nearby. He gives them all space, time, and plenty of room to think, and after two full fucking weeks of it, he’s pretty sure they’ve had enough.

Jongdae too, has had plenty of room to think about it --all of it-- and after talking to Minseok and his shitty cat slash boyfriend, he’s pretty sure he knows what to do, too, beyond just apologising and hoping for the best.

“Give me your phone,” he demands, one night, outstretching his hand. If Baekhyun has noticed Jongdae avoiding him --which he most definitely has-- he doesn’t say anything, just slurps ramyun into his mouth with metal chopsticks and pulls his phone from his back pocket obediently, forking it over.

“What’re you doing?” Baekhyun asks, except his mouth is filled with noodles so it sounds more like _whawfoo yew doin?_

“Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are ignoring me,” Jongdae explains, sending a quick, cryptic text to Chanyeol and a matching one to Kyungsoo. “But they have no reason to ignore you." 

It’s nothing much, just a simple _we need to talk. Meet me outside the cafeteria tonight at 12_. But he hopes Chanyeol and Kyungsoo will be curious or --at the very least-- masochistic enough to follow up on ‘Baekhyun’s’ offer.

“You’re coming too,” Jongdae tells Baekhyun, who just points at his noodle-filled puffed out face as if to say _me?_ “I need to speak with all three of you. At once.” 

“Right now?” Baekhyun asks, incredulous, and when Jongdae glances at the clock and sees it reads 11:47, he nods.

“Come on, Baekhyunnie,” he says, tugging at Baekhyun’s sleeve. “Time for me to undo my own goddamn fuck-up.”

 

 

□□□□

 

 

“Gentleman!” Baekhyun calls, when Kyungsoo and Chanyeol approach from their shared dormitory. “I’m sure you’re wondering why I've called you all here today.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes narrow immediately, almost hissing like a cat when he spots Jongdae behind Baekhyun, leaning against the wall with mock casualty. “I should’ve known you didn’t send that text,” he sneers at Baekhyun. “The grammar was too perfect.” 

“I’m cut,” Baekhyun says, pouting.

“I can’t believe you’re taking his side,” Chanyeol tells Baekhyun, looking at Jongdae like he’s a lamp that doesn’t match the interior design rather than, like, a person. “After what he did to us?”

Baekhyun shrugs. “Jongdae didn’t do anything to me except fall in love. Which is pretty flattering, truth be told.”

Kyungsoo scowls. “He also lied to you about helping you score a date with Chanyeol.” 

“Low blow.” Jongdae mumbles, and crosses his arms, but Baekhyun seems mostly unaffected, still smiling pleasantly.

“I’m a forgiving person,” he says cheerily, as Chanyeol says “you want to date me?” But they all seem to be ignoring that can of worms, for the time being. “Besides, Kyungsoo-ya,” Baekhyun continues. “Don’t think I don’t know you’re the one he promised to help date Chanyeol instead.”

Jongdae bites his cheek at that, as Kyungsoo just looks taken aback, ears turning red. “You want to date me?” Chanyeol asks, incredulous. “Why does everyone apart from Jongdae want to date me?”

“I want to date you,” Jongdae inputs, as Kyungsoo just glares Baekhyun down while Baekhyun smiles at him, almost patronisingly. Very love-rival-esque indeed.

It has the same effect as a record scratch, though, as all three of them just turn to look at Jongdae like he’s grown a second head. He’d almost forgotten that Baekhyun is technically as clueless about this as the other two, even if he is the only one who isn’t outright ignoring Jongdae --the fact is surprisingly funny.

“I want to date all of you, actually,” Jongdae says, face warm. “If you want.”

That has all of them looking at him, faces contorted with confusion until Kyungsoo just says, “You want to _what_.”

“I want to date all three of you,” Jongdae tries again, swallowing. “Like. Simultaneously. And I know I fucked things up by making it super super messy, but I-- I like all of you. And I want to be with all of you in whatever combination you want to be with each other. I know I hurt you --all of you-- but I didn't mean to and I just-- I can't make it up to you but... but I hope you can at least forgive me.” Jongdae braces himself, waiting for an impact that never comes. 

Kyungsoo’s brow furrows, forehead creasing. “I thought I was just a rebound for you to get over Baekhyun.” 

"I thought I was just a way for you to get laid," Chanyeol adds, frowning. 

“ _What?_ ” Jongdae splutters, almost offended by the insinuation. “Kyungsoo I-- I really like you. Like. Really really like you. Like, A lot. You too, Chanyeol, but I didn't know how to...” he bites his cheek. "... Work around that, when I thought you all liked someone else. I know some people aren't really up for sharing, or whatever, but I..."

“I get it.” Kyungsoo mutters, but his ears are pink, eyes downcast. “I… I like you too, maybe.”

Maybe. Jongdae grins at how cute and in-denial Kyungsoo is, totally enamoured with the image.

“Hey woah wait I’m confused,” Chanyeol says, blinking between them. “I thought Kyungsoo wanted to date me.”

“I do,” Kyungsoo says, reaching out and taking Chanyeol’s hand almost hesitantly, gazing up at him. “Do you…?”

“I--” Chanyeol’s abruptly gone very red in the face, swallowing. “--I’m not uh. Against the idea.”

“Hold up,” Baekhyun inputs suddenly, raising his hand. “I want to date Kyungsoo too.” He adds, pouting childishly. Kyungsoo just laughs.

“I’m not against the idea,” he says slyly, reaching out with the other hand to hold Baekhyun’s and wow, okay, when the fuck did that happen? Kyungsoo catches Jongdae’s questioning gaze, and smirks. “We’ve been spending a lot of time together trying to set each other up with you,” Kyungsoo explains, lips twitching. “Surprise?”

Baekhyun grins at Jongdae's puzzled face. "I may also be into masochism and getting my ass kicked." He adds, smirking.  

“I’m still confused,” Chanyeol whines, rubbing at his head with his free hand. “I thought Baekhyunnie liked _me_.”

“Ah Chanyeol, ever the self-centred idiot,” Baekhyun muses, smiling fondly. “We all like you,” he explains, gesturing with his free hand, “and we all like each other, because, quite frankly, the idea of limiting your love to only one human being is rather close-minded, hm?” 

Chanyeol looks like a beetroot. “I guess.” He says, shirking into his shoulders. Baekhyun grins up at him. “Does this mean I get three boyfriends?” 

“If you’ll accept us,” Jongdae offers, holding out his hand. He hadn’t honestly expected their love square thing to be… reciprocated, on all ends, but this is… definitely a best case scenario. Does this make them a love triangle-based pyramid, three lines to every vertex?

“Uh, duh, that’s like, three times the love and three times the sex,” Chanyeol says, wrapping his massive hand around Jongdae’s. “Why wouldn’t I agree to this?”

“Glad you can do math,” Kyungsoo quips, with an eye roll, but his ears are still pink. Jongdae’s so glad the adorable that passes through his brain is probably shared with Chanyeol and Baekhyun both. “Does this mean you like all three of us, too?” 

“Oh I um--” Chanyeol splutters, face red. “--Yeah. Yes.” He bends his body forwards, bowing to their makeshift, not-yet-complete circle. “I like all three of you a lot. A lot lot. To be honest I only pursued Jongdae because he uh. Wasn't in orchestra." Chanyeol's ears are red, too. "Please take care of me.” 

Baekhyun laughs at Chanyeol’s stupid antics, Kyungsoo, too, and Jongdae notices that Baekhyun still has a free hand, outstretching his own.

“I love you,” he tells Baekhyun, because it feels right to say, somehow, at this moment, all standing outside the university cafeteria in their pyjamas. He casts a glance to their makeshift circle and laughs nervously. “Sorry about one-upping everyone.”

Chanyeol just grins at him encouragingly and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, waiting. Baekhyun bites his lip, and laughs lightly, flustered. 

“I can’t exactly return your feelings yet, Kim Jongdae,” he says, slowly, carefully, like he’s trying out every word in his brain before he says them. “But… I do... like you. A lot. A lot lot, one might even say.” Baekhyun casts Chanyeol and amused glance, and takes Jongdae's hand.

(Jongdae feels like crying.) 

“I’m pretty sure the only thing different between you two now anyway is that you’ll have awesome sex,” Chanyeol adds, waggling his eyebrow. Jongdae snorts.

“Yeah, that and that you have two other boyfriends,” Kyungsoo adds, not breaking his grip on Chanyeol even as he elbows him in the ribs. “Besides, Jongdae has a fantastic ass, so now you’ll finally be able to do something about it.”

Baekhyun grins at that, staring at Jongdae in a way he can only describe as lovingly. It feels like Jongdae’s heart is doing an olympic gymnastics routine, right in the middle of his chest. 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun agrees, smiling stupidly. “I guess so.”

(It’s about time Jongdae kissed him, anyway.)

“Save some for the rest of us!” Chanyeol squawks indignantly, as Jongdae just smiles against Baekhyun’s lips and feels him smile back in return, kissing him the way he’s dreamt of for years, feeling Baekhyun sigh against him as they squeeze each other’s hands, fingers interlaced, Chanyeol shaking Jongdae's other in protest. Kyungsoo grins at them, heart-shape and all, from across the circle, eyes crinkled. “Three boyfriends means three times more kisses to share, Jongdae-ya!”

“Shut up.” Baekhyun mumbles, and pushes past Jongdae so that he can kiss Chanyeol to do it himself, unlinking their hands as he brings them up to Chanyeol’s face in order to bring it down, Chanyeol’s hands steadying around Baekhyun’s waist but his mouth, blessedly, is occupied. 

Kyungsoo smiles at Jongdae softly. “You’re an idiot. You know that, right?” 

“Of course,” Jongdae says easily, pulling Kyungsoo towards him by his belt loops. “You still like me, though.” 

“Unfortunately,” Kyungsoo agrees, and kisses him, smiling into it as Jongdae hums happily, licking into the roof of Kyungsoo’s mouth. 

“Slow down lover boy,” Baekhyun says, and tugs at Jongdae to disconnect the two, pushing his own mouth against Kyungsoo’s. Now that Jongdae has a chance to watch it properly --considering they’re way more at eye-level-- the fact that his two fucking boyfriends are making out, is stupidly hot. 

“That’s stupidly hot, right?” Chanyeol asks him. “Like, I’m not the only one getting ridiculously turned on by that. Please?”

Baekhyun grins against Kyungsoo’s mouth, and Kyungsoo retaliates by biting on Baekhyun’s lip, earning all three of them a pornographic moan. Fucking Byun Baekhyun. 

“Fuck,” Jongdae pants out, suddenly flushed, and he’s a little bit embarrassed really, because they’re just kissing, but Baekhyun has an oral fixation and Kyungsoo has like, the nicest mouth ever, so it really should be no surprise that their making out is so fucking heated. 

“Same.” Chanyeol adds, lamely, and is suddenly panting against Jongdae’s mouth instead, crouching over awkwardly so that they’re at the same height, Jongdae winding his arms around Chanyeol’s neck to keep him down. 

They spend too much time --or maybe not enough time at all-- just like that: kissing each other until someone else demands some too, exchanging saliva to a point that really should be considered gross but they’re all just too giddy to care, kissing one another over and over and over again in front of their school's fucking cafeteria at twelve o'clock in the morning.

If someone at the start of university, had told Jongdae he’d end up with three boyfriends --the love of his childhood included-- he probably wouldn’t believe them. Now, though, it’s stupid to Jongdae, that he’d considered being anywhere different, with anyone different, doing anything except loving --and liking-- the two biggest idiots on the planet (and Kyungsoo.) 

“C’mon Boyfriend Number Three,” Baekhyun says sleepily, when they’re all thoroughly kissed out and awkwardly turned on, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol heading back to their shared dorm building for the night, hand-in-hand. (Kyungsoo mentioning something about Soojung owing him 50000 won for the orchestra bet, or something.) “Let’s go home.”

“Number three?” Jongdae asks, eyebrow raised. “I kissed you first.”

“But you held our hands last, duh,” Baekhyun interlaces their fingers together, grinning at him. “But c’mon, I’m cold.”

“You’re insufferable,” Jongdae huffs out, wrapping his arms around Baekhyun to keep him warm. Baekhyun hums.

“You love me~” he teases, and Jongdae just thinks yeah, yeah I really do.

His love for Baekhyun is different to the way he likes Kyungsoo, and even that is different to the way he likes Chanyeol, but they’re not… unbalanced, by any means, or unfair. They’re all just different brands of the same sort of love, at varying levels, and that’s okay, Jongdae thinks, because for the first time in a very long time, Jongdae feels full.

(There are still complications to get around, labels to sort out and technicalities to list --not to mention what the fuck they’re going to all do when it actually gets to the bedroom-- but for now, just curling up under Jongdae’s pink bedsheets with Baekhyun is enough, knowing that Chanyeol and Kyungsoo will be waiting for them, both, when they wake up tomorrow.)

Jongdae closes his eyes and falls asleep, unable to wipe the grin off his face.

 

* * *

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is titled and mildly inspired after [this m/v](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJ4uBdmnKds)
> 
> i still cant believe i wrote nearly 20k of dialogue-heavy ot4 i dont even recognise my own reflection, anymore,


End file.
